That old term "perfectionism" has popped up in the news lately. Here are just a brief review of the troubling headlines every parent should know and why we should be concerned...

In a study of 1,300 women, 50 percent of those with eating disorders described themselves as having been "obsessive perfectionists" as early as age eight." (Inskeep & Neighmond, 2004).

A recent Harvard Mental Health letter warned that perfectionism is linked with anxiety, depression, eating disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

A recent survey cited that girls as young as five years old aspired to be thinner (Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters, 2007)

Well, FINALLY a children's book that tackles head-on the growing problem of perfectionism in kids who feel that their best is never good enough. It's called, Too Perfect and it's written by one of my favorite children's author, Trudy Ludwig. She also wrote My Secret Bully, Just Kidding, Sorry!, and Trouble Talk®. Too Perfect shows girls that perfectionism has its price and tackles head-on the growing problem in kids who feel that their best is never good enough.

Trudy sheds light on the unhealthy pressure kids (and grownups!) put on themselves to look and act perfect. Best yet, she offers practical solutions to help young readers be more accepting of themselves and others. I can't recommend it enough!

I hope you have a chance to pass this wonderful book along to your daughter. What a tremendous relief it will be when our kids finally realize they don't have to be their best; they just have to try their best.

Too Perfect has just the right message to help you have those important talks with your child. It's a message today's girls can't hear enough!


Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

It's Thanksgiving Day and your family and guests are at your festive table, ready for the meal to begin, but you first want folks to share their Thanksgiving blessings. Be honest: Which scenario would best depict your reaction when it's your children's turn to count their blessings with the group?

Would you...

A: Beam with pride as they describe their gratitude for their life blessings?
B: Gently remind them of things they could share?
C: Want to die from embarrassment since your kids can't think of anything to say?

If your kids need reminders to say "thank you," show appreciation, or take thoughtful gestures for granted, then it may be time for a gratitude makeover. Studies prove that the happiest kids feel an appreciation for life, and that's regardless of their wealth or personal circumstances. They are also more joyful, determined, optimistic, resilient, less stressed and even healthier. So if you're a tad concerned that your kids' attitude of gratitude needs a little boost, the good news is that science also proves there are simple strategies to do it. One of the easiest ways is by establishing family rituals where kids count their everyday blessings. Here are a few to get you started:

Thank You ABCs. This one is great for younger kids to do at the dinner table. You and your kids say the alphabet together but for each letter include something you are grateful for: A, Aunt Helen; B, my brother; C, my cat, and so on. Take it up a notch by explaining why they are grateful. Families with small kids rarely get beyond H, but the point is you're having fun together and your kids are also learning to be appreciative.

Thanksgiving blessings. Say a prayer of thanks together before meals. Some families take turns so that each night a different member leads the prayer. Or, do bedtime blessings when each child exchanges messages of appreciation for one another followed by a goodnight hug and kiss.

Gratitude letters. Your child writes a letter to someone who has made a positive difference in his life, but has probably not thanked properly in the past (such as his teacher, coach, scout master or grandparent). To maximize the impact, research says that your child should read the letter to the person face-to-face.

Gratitude journals. Another proven way to boost gratitude is by having your kids write something they feel grateful for, ideally four times a week, and continue for at least three weeks. Younger kids can draw or dictate things they are most grateful for; older kids can write in a diary or on a computer. Why not do so as a family?

Thank your kids. Don't overlook your kids' daily thoughtful deeds. Just be sure to tell them what they did that you appreciate so they are more likely to copy your example and send their own "appreciation messages" to others.

Set limits. Having too much of anything squelches appreciation. So fight the tendency to overindulge your child with too many things. Giving kids what they want all of the time does not help them learn to be grateful and appreciative of what they have.

Expose your kids to the less fortunate. Face-to-face experiences can go a long way in helping kids appreciate their blessings. So find ways for you and your child to do charitable work (playing with kids in a homeless shelter, reading to the blind, building a low-cost home or delivering meals for the bed-ridden).

Remember, change is a process; not a one-time activity. Stick to your commitment and find simple ways to help your child practice gratitude. Reinforce any efforts and don't give up until you get the desired change.

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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .

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The Children's Society, a charitable group in the UK dedicated to improving childhood, released scathing survey results this week that are none too flattering: A whopping 89% of adults feel that today's youth are far more materialistic and consumer-driven at much younger ages than previous generations. That survey also finds that kids most influenced by commercial pressures suffer more mental-health problems.

Of course raising kids in such a materialistic world with advertisers taunting children to buy-buy-buy doesn't make matters easier. But let's face it, the biggest reason our kids are so darn materialistic is because we've allowed it. (Most of us anyway). We've obliged their every whim, bought them only the best name brands, and tried motivating them to “do good” by rewarding them with possessions. What's more, we aren't doing our kids any justice.

The good news is that the latest research from several universities shows there are ways to deprogram your child's materialistic streak. Using those parenting strategies will help your kid be more appreciative of those non-material everyday wonders of life, boost his self-esteem, emotional well-being and actually make him happier and more content. Best yet, you'll save yourself money and kiss away any guilt you've ever had for saying "no" to your kids. Get ready!

Watch the segment from TODAY

Are you finding it hard to curb your kid's desire for more, more, more?  First, find out if you have a materialistic child.  If you think your child is too concerned with material possessions it may be hard to  break him of the habit. 

Here are a few of the best parenting secrets to help you succeed.

Just say no! Always giving in to your kid's materialistic desires doesn't do her any favors. Say no to unending whims and consumer demands, even if that provokes tantrums at first. And do so without feeling guilty. Then simply explain your concerns and the reason for your new policy, but, most importantly, do not give in!
Watch those TV commercials! Research shows that the fewer commercials kids see, the less materialistic they become. When kids' TV viewing was cut by one-third; they were 70 percent less likely than their peers to ask parents for a toy the previous week. So hit the mute button on your television remote and talk whenever those commercials are on. Turn your child toward more commercial-free television shows or Tivo his “have-to-see” favorite so he can cut out the commercials all together.

Spend more time than money on your kids. Materialistic kids go on more shopping outings with their parents. So be honest: How many of your outings stress non-material values? Make a conscious effort to spend time together doing things that don't cost a dime: Go to the park and the museum, talk, take bike rides, build forts, bake cookies, watch the clouds, and play Monopoly. Show your kid the “other” side of life.

Boost self-esteem. Research at the University of Minnesota shows the more materialistic the kid, the lower their self-esteem. All those clothes and electronics they own actually suppress their self-regard by sending the superficial message: “Your identity is what you have -- not who you are.” But you can turn that belief around by giving well-earned compliments that focus on your kid's inner qualities such as “smart” or “fun.” That research showed that doing so immediately reduced tween-aged kids' materialistic tendencies.

Watch the segment from TODAY

“What do I get if I do it?”

“How much will you give me?”

Heard these words lately from your darling offspring? If so, chances are your kid is suffering from a widespread kid epidemic called: “Hooked on Rewards.” (Translation: they expect the gold stars, stickers, or monetary prizes for a job well done).

Here's the danger: instead of developing internal motivation, these kids end up with a highly developed external dependence system that relies on someone else to acknowledge their actions. If you've noticed your child is expecting something for acting right, here are a few tips to help kids become responsible for reinforcing their own behavior -- without expecting something in return:

If you ever had even the slightest bit of guilt about saying “No" to your kids materialistic whims, you can kiss those feelings away. A University of Minnesota study out just last week confirmed what every parent has instinctively known deep down: we're not doing our kids any favors by giving in to their every whim and spending urge.

Deborah Roedder John and Lan Nguyen Chaplin, the lead authors of the study, found that materialistic kids are less happy, more anxious, feel less secure, have lower self-esteem, are less able to handle adversity, and are less generous and charitable. Wow! And if that doesn't convince you to hide that ATM card, the study also found that materialistic kids have lower opinions of their parents and argue with them more.

Get a plan now to halt the gimmes in your home -- and stick to it! Think of it: you'll be saving money, be less stressed, save hours now that you don't have to shop, and boost your kid's self-esteem! Sounds almost too good to be true. And what better time to start than during the holidays.

“Spoiled! Not my kid!” Right?

Or would you admit that your child is just a tad bit spoiled? All the polls say that most Americans feel kids today are more spoiled than ever. A TIME/CNN poll found that two out of three parents feel their kids are spoiled.
A poll by the New American Dream showed 70 percent of parents believe kids are too focused on buying things.

I have to say I agree with the polls.

(Parenting expert Michele Borba tells TODAY's Natalie Morales what parents can do to end those temper tantrums. Watch the video.)

Of course we love our kids and want the best for them. We don't want to see them unhappy for a single second. But indulging their every little whim doesn't do our kids any favors. In fact, there are a few dangers to overindulging kids:

They won't win popularity contests. Forget the birthday party invitations. Spoiled kids are not pleasant to be around. Other children don't like them because they're too bossy and selfish. Adults don't like them because they're often rude and demanding.

They have reduced perseverance. Because everything comes a bit easier, a spoiled child has a tougher time handling the downsides of life. They're used to getting their way ASAP so they not only may have reduced perseverance when it comes to schoolwork, but also a tougher time handling adversity.

They have lower self-esteem. New research shows that always getting what you want leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, more psychosomatic complaints, and worse relationships with parents.You're in danger of getting an always-unsatisfied kid who always wants more.

They may lack character. Watch out. Spoiled kids often measure their worth based on what they have instead of who they are.

The truth is there is no gene for spoiled. We have ourselves to blame for this one -- it's clearly a learned behavior. But how do you know if your kid is spoiled? Here is my four-word test...