Thinking of having your kid fly alone to visit someone this summer? After this week's news you just may want to rethink your plans.

It seems yet another unaccompanied minor flying to visit Grandma and Grandpa was someone "misplaced" by an airline and landed in not only in the wrong city, but the wrong state! I'm well aware that airlines frequently misplace luggage (why I've learned long ago to never ever check a bag), but I'm still baffled as to how it is that airplane employees can misplace a ten-year-old child.

In this case Dad did all the "right" things to ensure that his ten-year-old daughter was delivered safely to her grandparents. Dad filled out the required airline paperwork for Continental Airlines, walked his daughter to the gate at Logan International Airport with an airline employee, and even watched his child board the plane while his parents waited patiently at the Cleveland gate for her arrival. Despite all those efforts, the daughter landed in Newark, NJ leaving two grandparents and her dad frantically trying to track her whereabouts for 45 minutes. (Can you imagine the terror?) All because the flight crew of the connecting flight failed to check the young girl's paperwork (which was hanging prominently around her neck) and escorted her to the wrong aircraft.

The good news is that the ten-year-old is safe and sound and with her grandparents. Meanwhile I'm sure most parents hearing this are in full panic mode about letting their kids fly solo anytime in the near future - if ever.

So what 's a parent to do? In divorced families there isn't always an option when it comes to kids visiting their other parent. And spending a summer with grandparents is many a kid's fondest memory. My advice:  Don't be too quick to cancel your child's flight reservation --just yet anyway.

I know from personal experience that there are hundreds of kids who fly alone and really do land in the right city. I've also watched dozens of responsible airline employees help kids board planes, review their paperwork, give out individual safety instructions, and firmly let those minors know they are "not to move" until they are personally escorted to the next plane by a designated employee. Still there are always stories like this one that remind us that the unaccompanied minor system is not fail-proof. The parenting solution for this dilemma involves five quick tests to help assess whether your kid is really ready to fly alone in the friendly skies.

Excessive clinginess is a common phase in a child's early years. It usually starts around 8 or 9 months, peaks at 18 months, and then usually becomes less and less intense, ending around 2 years of age. It is also common around preschool age (the first separation from home) but sometimes is even present in young adolescents in certain anxiety-provoking situations. Though common, it still can be quite unsettling for a parent.

Watch the segment from TODAY

Each child handles stress differently, so the causes of clinginess will be different for each child. A parent's job is to play detective and figure out what's causing clinginess. Typical causes include:

• Unsettling or traumatic experience: Bullying, hospitalization, fear of failure, death or illness of a parent, divorce, natural disaster, attachment gone awry


• Sudden transition: Moving, arrival of a new sibling


• A distressing separation: Long separations from a parent, threats of abandonment ("I will leave you if you don't come along.")


• Temperament: Some kids are more like tumbleweeds and roll with the punches; others are like orchids, more sensitive, less adaptable and more tightly strung. Twenty percent of 4-month-olds have a biological "nudge" in the direction of increased fearfulness and are a slower-to-warm child.

Typically a younger child will cling more towards their primary caregiver, which is normally mom, and can be quite unsettling for the other parent - usually dad. It's why it is helpful to understand child development and know that such behavior is normal and will pass.

Each week Michele Borba answers your parenting questions right here on her blog.  If you have a parenting problem or question leave a comment on this post and you may have yours answered next week!

Hi - I have a 4-year-old who is very shy in new situations. He is great at home or in places he knows, but around new kids, people, and situations he shuts down for quite a while. We try to encourage him and tell him we know it can be a little intimidating, and that may or may not help. What can I do to help him? Thank you!
--Lindsey

Thank you for your question. Here are a few tips from my book Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, to help your shy kid gain confidence in social settings. I have one of these critters myself so I know where you’re coming from. Hope these help.

1. Give warm up time. Shyer kids need more time to warm up. They usually hang back at first and “watch” so let him. He’s soaking up the information and gaining confidence. Don’t push. Big mistake. Instead show him the “first thing he can do.” (Like go to the puzzle, find the swing, walk to one friend). And don’t (please don’t) label your child shy. Studies at Stanford University found that though shyness is usually the temperament our kids are born with, LABELING them shy can become self-fulfilling. (One of my kids was shy and whenever someone used the term in front of him I switched it. “No, he’s very cognitive.” Everyone begin to think he was in the genius category – but it saved his self-esteem


2. Encourage eye contact. A simple but important skill to teach a shy child is eye contact. First, because it will make your child appear more confident (shyer kids generally hang their heads down and look timid—because they are) and second, because it’s a skill that well-liked kids use. It will help your child gain social confidence. As you’re talking with your child teach one rule, “Always look at the color of the talker’s eyes.” By consciously reinforcing the skill and modeling it regularly, your child will soon be using eye contact.  Tip: If your kid is uncomfortable about using eye contact, tell him to look at the bridge of the speaker’s nose. With a few practices, she usually no longer needs the technique, and will look more confidently into the speaker’s eyes.


3. Rehearse social situations. Prepare your kid for an upcoming social event by describing the setting, expectations, and the attendees. Shy kids are more anxious. Their little hearts are beating and the fear factor is high. Then help him practice the FIRST thing he can do when he goes into the birthday party (give the present to the mom; say hi to the birthday boy) etc. Later you can add how to meet others, table manners, basic conversational skills, and even how to say good-bye gracefully. Just remember kids learn new skills best by SHOWING not TELLING. So role play over and over and over the skill.


4. Practice skills with younger peers. Try pairing your child with a younger child for brief play periods (a younger cousin, neighbor, or one of your friend’s younger kids). It will help your child feel more comfortable and practice new skills that can be intimidating with more “mature” kids.


5. Arrange one-on-one play opportunities to build social confidence. This is a time when your kid invites only one child over for a couple of private play hours to get to know one another and practice friendship-making skills. Siblings should not be included and television viewing should not be a play option.

All the best!
Michele Borba

Have a parenting question for Michele Borba?  Leave a comment below and your question may be answered next week.

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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them.