Ramirez and Ortiz Join the Steroid-User Club

REALITY CHECK: Think steroids are for teens? Well, think again. A recent survey found that kids as young as ten (fifth graders!) are taking illegal steroids to do better in sports. And it isn't just boys who are partaking: use among middle-school girls is almost as prevalent as it is among boys (2.8 percent of boys and 2.6 percent of girls). One CNN report found that up to 7 percent of middle school girls-some as young as nine years of age-admit to using anabolic steroids as a way to lose weight. Health professionals and educators alike are alarmed, but so too should parents.

If you haven't heard, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz just joined the Baseball Hall of Shame for testing positive for using performance-enhancing drugs. They are among the 100 players that tested positive for steroids in 2003. And sports announcers caution that this issue will not go away-more announcements are yet to come.

Steroids can harm the liver, stunt growth and cause a host of other long-term ailments, but these young bodies particularly vulnerable. That's exactly why we should start talking to our kids about the dangers of steroids at a much younger age. And there is no time better than now. It's hard to read a news story these days that doesn't list yet another a pro baseball players, wrestlers, swimmers, runners, bikers found guilt of abusing performance enhancing drugs.

Do know these tainted-athletes do impact our children's beliefs and behavior. One teen survey found that 57 percent admitted that professional athletes influenced their decision to use the drugs and 63 percent of kids said pro athletes influenced their friends' decisions to use them. Recognize that your kid's sport hero may be influence his decisions.

So Jon and Kate finally made the big announcement last night and will be going their separate ways. Tweets overloaded, bloggers went into high gear and every talk show host asked the same questions: "Will the show go on?" "How will Kate manage alone?" "Will Jon marry his girlfriend?" "How will they handle the finances?"

But in the next few days and weeks the real focus needs to be on these eight children and helping them cope. After all, one of the most stressful events in a child's life is the news that mom and dad are divorcing--only the death of a parent is ranked higher. And the truth is there is no telling how a family breakup affects a child. Factors involved include: age and gender (adolescents and boys seem to suffer the most), if there are other disruptions such as changes in home or school, the degree they were brought into the conflict, the quality of the relationship they had with each parent, the child's temperament, and the degree of parental conflict before and after the divorce. In this unique situation the media frenzy and hype can only increase anxiety.

There is no predicting how a child will respond to a family breakup, but here are common symptoms to watch for in their children: Five-year-olds often have difficult time expressing concerns about parental conflict divorce so they may be confused and anxious. They sometimes feel responsible and may believe that if they are really good (or stop "misbehaving") their parents will stop fighting. Nightmares, behavioral regressions, anger or defiance are common. Slightly older children may respond with sorrow, embarrassment, resentment, regression or anger and may act out, display regression, clinginess, insecurity or seek a lot of attention.

Kate Gosselin of the infamous Jon & Kate Plus 8 was photographed spanking her child. Oh my! I know this is probably "old news"--every media outlet from here to Cape Town probably covered it, but with all the flurry that Kate herself succumbed to that ancient parenting tool, my email box is suddenly loaded with "spanking" queries. It seems good 'ol Mommy Guilt is alive and churning in the U.S.A.

Well, "why not spank?" you wonder. It's quick, it's familiar (at least to parents who were themselves spanked as children) and it usually gets kids to stop the offending behavior-at least temporarily. And data shows 70% of Americans do spank. So let's get two things straight: First, a swat or two is not going to psychologically damage your kid for life. Nor will a spank cause your little munchkin to become the next Hannibal Lecter. Relax.

The key question is whether spanking is really the best discipline method. And here's the research every parents should know: In June 27, 2002 The Associated Press released Columbia University's analysis of six decades of research on corporal punishment. Results linked spanking to ten negative behaviors including aggression, anti-social behavior and mental health problems. Although many parents are unaware of it, continual spanking can have long-term negative effects. Plus it doesn't work that well in stopping bad behaviors. Really. Honest.

Here are ten reasons I'd advise you to consider using another discipline technique other than spanking to curb your kids' bad attitudes or troublesome behaviors:

1. Spanking stops misbehavior momentarily. The bad behavior usually resumes because the kid doesn't know how to act differently.

2. Spanking teaches the child not how to act right, but how not to get caught when the parent is around. He becomes a champion in manipulation.

3. The child is much more likely to remember the punishment than why he was punished. He behaves out of fear instead of because he wants to act right.

4. It teaches that hitting solves problems. Kids must learn acceptable, nonviolent alternatives to solve problems.

5. Spanking teaches children to behave through "external control" (the punishment). It does not teach kids self-control-or "internal control."

6. Spanking sends a huge mixed message: "It's fine for adults to hit, but not kids."

7. Spanking squelches moral growth. It stops kids from misbehaving because they want to avoid punishment (the lowest level of moral development), not because they want to do what is right.

8. Spanking squelches empathy. Empathy-being considerate to another's needs and feelings-is the cornerstone of moral growth. Studies find that children's empathy is diminished when their parents control their kids through anger.

9. Spanking exposes children to violence. Learning comes through example. Spanking is an aggressive act, showing children their parents acting in an out-of-control manner.

10. Spanking doesn't teach new behavior.  Spanking teaches not how to behave right, but how to shout, hit, manipulate, and control others through fear. It also fails to teach a critical discipline lesson: "So why should I behave?"

There are many ways to effectively discipline children without resorting to corporal punishment. Withhold privileges, grounding, assign extra chores, require restitute or use time-out are a few options. The important thing is to set the consequence ahead of time, make it fit the crime, and then carry through with it every time your child misbehaves.

The goal of all discipline is to teach your child to take responsibility for his choices-it's part of helping him grow into a healthy, self-reliant and decent human being.


Get more Parenting Solutions by following @MicheleBorba on Twitter.

Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

A Response to the Tragic Holocaust Museum Shooting

I'm sure you read the news about how a man opened fire with a rifle inside the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum packed with children killing a security guard. Law enforcement officers identified the suspect as James Wenneker von Brunn, an 88 year-old white supremacist and author of the book, "Kill the Best Gentiles." According to FBI statistics, 7,624 hate crime incidents were reported in 2007. The Southern Poverty Law Center reports that those stats are "severely flawed" and much higher. But here' the real cause for alarm...

Did you know that today's American youth are displaying intolerant actions at alarming rates-and at younger and younger ages? The FBI tells us most hate crimes are committed by youth younger than nineteen.

Remember: Kids aren't born hateful and prejudices are learned. Hatred and intolerance can be learned, but so too can sensitivity, understanding, empathy and tolerance. If today's children are to have any chance of living harmoniously in this multi-ethnic world, it is critical that parents nurture it. Here are seven parenting solutions you can use that help curtail bigotry while at the same time influence your kids to treat others with respect and understanding.

1. Confront your own prejudices. The first step to nurturing tolerance is to examine your own prejudices and reflect on how you might be projecting those ideas to your child. Chances are that you are communicating those attitudes to your child. Make a conscious attempt to temper them so that they don't become your child's prejudices.

2. Commit to raising a tolerant child. Parents who think through how they want their kids to turn out usually succeed simply because they planned their parenting efforts. So if you really want your child to respect diversity, you must adopt a conviction early on to raise him to do so. Once your child knows your expectations, he will be more likely to embrace your principles.

3. Refuse to allow discriminatory comments. When you hear prejudicial comments, verbalize your displeasure. How you respond sends a clear message to your child about your values: "That's disrespectful and I won't allow such things to be said in my house," or "That's a biased comment, and I don't want to hear it." Your child needs to hear your discomfort so that she knows you really walk your talk. It also models a response she should imitate if prejudicial comments are made in her presence.

However your feelings about Jon & Kate Plus 8 my concerns are with their kids. It's obvious that all is not well the Gosselin marriage. And both partners readily admit that their relationship is at a crossroads. While viewers sense their tension they may be unaware of how it is trickling down to the kids.

Watch the segment from TODAY

One of the most stressful events in a child's life is the news that mom and dad are breaking up-- only the death of a parent is ranked higher. Add being a multiple, camera crews invading your home 24-7, and the paparazzi (or "p people" as Kate calls them) camped outside your doorstep following your every move, and we can imagine the stress on these eight little faces.

So what are some ways parents in turmoil can help their kids? Research shows ongoing positive involvement[i] is the best way to help kids adjust. Here are some ways to help kids cope:

Get a handle on their life. The best predictor of how kids cope with the stress of a family breakup is the way their parents handle it. In a crisis, kids take cues from their parents so it's essential that Jon and Kate take care of themselves so they can better able to take care of their kids.

Keep the kids as the main focus. In any crisis, parents must be emotionally and physically available and offer their kids lots of cuddles, attention and reassurance. I'd strongly recommend cutting those book signings, extra speeches and any media ops. These kids need their parents present and accountable.

Clue the kids into what's going on. Children are always more perceptive than we give them credit for. These kids know something is up and deserve to hear from their parents what is happening and not to do so only fuels a child's anxiety. That explanation should be delivered by jointly by Jon and Kate in a calm manner tailored to their children's ages. "We know you've heard Mommy and Daddy fighting so let's talk about what's happening." "We love you very much and will help you get through this together." Too much information is confusing for younger children. If they've decided to separate than just a simple, "Mommy and Daddy are going to live in different houses so we don't fight so much." Or if parents are uncertain of their decision: "We don't know what will happen, but Daddy and Mommy are trying to work things out. So if you have questions, come and ask." The goal is to keep the emphasis on "we." "We will always be there for you." "We love you very much."

Reassure the kids that they are not to blame. Children often assume that they are to blame for a breakup and usually need repeated assurance. Kate and Jon must be clear that the children are not responsible for their conflicts and that there is nothing the kids can do to "fix" things.

Keep an eye on the children. There is no predicting how a child will respond to a family breakup, but here are common symptoms to watch for in their children: Five year olds often have difficult time expressing concerns about parental conflict divorce so they may be confused and anxious. They sometimes feel responsible and may believe that if they are really good (or stop "misbehaving") their parents will stop fighting. Nightmares, behavioral regressions, anger, or defiance are common. Slightly older children may respond with sorrow, embarrassment, resentment, regression, or anger and may act out, display regression, clinginess, insecurity or seek a lot of attention. How divorce will impacts a child depends on many factors including: age and gender, if there are other disruptions such as changes in home or school, the degree they were brought into the conflict, the quality of the relationship they had with each parent, the child's temperament, and the degree of parental conflict before and after the divorce.

Emphasize stability and warmth. The American Psychological Association combed dozens of studies and found that key factors that contribute to healthier adjustment[ii] for children during and after a family breakup include appropriate parenting, disciplining authoritatively, providing emotional support, monitoring children's activities, and maintaining age-appropriate expectations. So whatever the outcome of Jon and Kate's marriage, their focus needs now needs to be in creating a home environment of warmth, structure and consistency for their children--regardless of whether two or one parent live in that home.

Stay civil! Bickering is always difficult on kids--especially when there are cameras watching your every move and your house has been turned into a movie set. The best advice for any parents with marital troubles is to avoid arguing in front of the kid and not bad mouth the other parent.

Connect with grandparents. Find support systems for the children. A famous 25-year study of children of divorce found that a key factor[iii] that helped them fare better before, during and after the family breakup was if their grandparents provided support and stability.

Remember, most research finds it's the quality of the parents' relationship with the children that matters most in how kids fare --- not the quality of the parents relationship with each other.

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[i] Ongoing positive involvement in the best way to create a healthy adjustment: Robert Bauserman, "Child Adjustment in Joint-Custody Versus Sole-Custody Arrangements: A Meta-Analytic Review, Journal of Family Psychology, 2002, Vol 16, No1, 11, 102.

[ii] Key factors for healthier kid adjustment: American Psychological Association: "Briefing Sheet: An Overview of the Psychological Literature on the Effects of Divorce on Children," Washington, D.C. May 2004 http;//www.apa.org/ppo/ssues/divorcechild.html

[iii] Critical role of grandparents during the divorce and years to follow: Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study, New York: Hyperion, 2001.


Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

5 Key Discussion Points to Help Parents

Sandra Cantu's kidnapping and brutal murder is all the news these days. Our hearts go out to this family. This tragedy is particularly troubling to parents. After all, we tell our kids to be weary of strangers, but in this case it appears that this precious 8-year-old knew her alleged killer--and a Sunday school teacher at that.

The majority of parent blog posts advise families to keep their kids inside and watch them like a hawk. Kidnappings have always been a parent's worst nightmare. And while we certainly should be cautious, it's also crucial that we keep things in perspective. There is a sad lesson here about "stranger danger" and it is this: Only one in 500,000 children are abducted by a stranger. Most kidnappers are someone the child personally knows. In fact, research shows that 85 percent of kids found alive after being abducted did not consider their kidnapper to be a stranger. All the more reason to review those critical safety tips with your children. A parent's primary goal, of course, is to keep a child from harm's way. But we also need to boost our children's "Safety Smarts" so they will know what to do to possibly prevent a tragedy.

Here are 5 important points to address with your child as well as discussion starters to use in your talks.

1. Provide accurate information. News is a 24-hour cycle these days and Sandra's kidnapping and murder will be played and replayed. Unless your child is very young, chances are he will hear about this tragedy (peers do talk) and more often than not those facts won't be accurate. That's why you need to clarify those facts and make sure the information about this or any tough topic come from you. Always tailor the facts to your child's understanding and give only those details that he really needs to know.

Discussion starters: "What have you heard?" or "What are your friends saying?" or "Let's talk about what you just saw on the news."

2. Review safety precautions. Use the news as a teachable moment to review age-appropriate safety measures. Pose "what if" scenarios about potentially dangerous situations with your child, then talk through possible solutions.

Discussion starters:  "Let's talk about things you can do to stay safe. What if... you notice a car following you? ...a stranger asks you for help? ...a stranger tells you Mom or Dad has been in an accident and wants you to go with him to the hospital?"

Americans spend $60 billion a year on diets, pills and programs in the hope they will shed those unwanted pounds. Chances are, most people on any one of those diets are parents. What you may not realize is that secrets of effective diets also apply to effective parenting.

Those same proven methods that help drop pounds also can be used to make a happier family and change annoying kid behaviors. Parents already know these strategies, so now they just need to apply them to their family.

Watch the segment from TODAY

Choose a Plan That Fits Your Lifestyle
Just like in dieting, if you don't choose the right plan you'll fall off track. Effective parenting, like dieting, is always tailored to your child. Before you make any progress, just like anything else, you have to know thy child and know thyself with this one.

A good plan is always fueled by a strong reason as to why you should change, and how doing so will help your child and your family. It keeps you motivated. One trick is to push the fast-forward button and look ahead. If you don't create a plan for change what is the long-term outcome for your child?


Announce Your Intentions
Announcing your intentions is a strategy proven to actually help you stick to your plan. Researchers found that when people announce what they plan to change, they follow through more, since the last thing they want to be seen as is a hypocrite. So tell your best friend, spouse, child's teacher or your kid your parenting intentions. Always preach what you plan to practice. The guilt of not sticking to your plan can be deadly.

Regularly tracking progress increases motivation. You'll see successes that you may have overlooked and that proof pushes you to keep going. The trick is to find a simple way to track your plan, like electronically or in a journal. You'll then be able to review and see what's working and what's not. That way you can refine your response.


Eliminate One "Problem Area" at a Time
Only target one behavior at a time to change. Your chances of success are higher because you'll be able to better focus your efforts. One tip is to "chunk" the change into smaller manageable parts. You may want to stop your kid from being so rude: "This week Kevin will say thank you. Next week: please. The following week: excuse me." Little steps can make big differences.


Find Support in Others
It's much easier to succeed when you have others cheering you on. The best person is your partner or spouse, but your best friends can also help. You could also find an online support group or form a mommy group. Change is more likely if you have a support system to talk to about your successes or setbacks.

You need someone who encourages you to keep on, understands where you're coming from and is unconditionally supportive. This person is your personal cheerleader and that personality type helps you succeed. Leaning on someone that is too critical is a setup for failure. The person is like a gentle nag partner to keep you on course when you sway or help you troubleshoot a problem when the going gets tough.


Stick to the Plan
Any lifestyle change generally takes at least 21 days to come to fruition, but it will be different for each parent and child. Just beware of the "behavior backslide": Just when you thought you curbed that annoying behavior, you may see a sudden increase. It's common and is a sign to hang in there a little longer. A big mistake is giving up too soon.


Remember to celebrate those little successes and kid efforts along the way. Above all, don't give up!

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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know 

I admit I'm glued to CSPAN these past days. I want to see those Washington changes upfront and personal. But this week I tuned into an unexpected political revelation. I caught it the moment President Obama signed the new environmental policy. It wasn't what, but how Obama signed the law. He used that unmistakable hooked handwriting scrawl of a left-hander. Somehow I'd missed that asset in our newly elected official.

Through a little self-induced sleuthing I discovered that Obama isn't alone as a southpaw President. Former left-handed Commanders-in-Chief include James A. Garfield, Herbert Hoover, Harry S. Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. In fact, a record 6 of the last 12 chief executives since the end of World War II have been lefties! Any way you look at it, that's a disproportionate amount of left-handers in the role of leader of the most powerful nation in the free world. Statistics say that only one in ten people is left-handed. But this rather interesting inclination of left-handed leadership (excuse the pun) is showing up in other political realms as well.

The fact is that even if Obama lost the election, our President would still have been left-handed. John McCain is also a southpaw. But so too was Al Gore, the presidential opponent in the preceding election. And keep going: The 1992 three-way Presidential race featured three southpaws: George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and H. Ross Perot. For the record, Bob Dole was also a lefty, but switched handedness due to a war injury.

This latest trend of left-handed Presidents has only been cropping up in recent decades. Before the turn of the twentieth century the only known left-handed Commander-in-Chief was James Garfield (and he was ambidextrous). I'm betting that the actual number of left-handed Presidents is actually much higher than the history books contend and I don't think it has anything to do with some rare genetic mutation. I think--fingers crossed--we're finally becoming more accepting as a society.

Just a few decades ago there was no sympathy for lefties. None. Parents were even strongly admonished to change their kid's hand dominance, and pronto. Parenting advice was stern: "Food must be put to their right so it is picked it up with their right hand." "Take any object immediately out of their left hand." "Force the child to write right-handed." Not only were left-handed kids not accepted in society, but thought to be clumsy, accident prone and certain to have problems learning.

If your child has experienced a serious trauma don't overlook the possibility of PTSD

You may have read about the recent Toys R Us shooting in my hometown of Palm Springs. The 911 tapes on the tragedy were released this week. Horror. Sheer horror! Our community is reeling, but now we worry about the children who witnessed absolute terror. Can you imagine? Here's a recap:

It was Black Friday and parents--many with kids in tow--waited long hours for those great toy sales. A mid-morning an argument broke out at our local Toys"R" Us between two young women. Suddenly one women's male companions drew weapons and opened fire in the middle of the store aisles. Within minutes the men lay dead in the aisle. Words can't describe the shock of such an event. A gun battle in the middle of a toy store during the Christmas holidays filled with kids and their parents. But concern is now turning to those terrified children who watched this debacle as they clung to their parents and feared for their lives.

I've spent the last days doing media interviews about how to help children deal with the aftermath of such a trauma. I discovered that many parents assumed that, because their children didn't say anything about shooting or appeared to be handling things "well", there was no need to worry. That perception has me greatly concerned. While I don't want to fuel any anxiety, I do want to alert you: Any child experiencing such trauma is at risk for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder has been in the news a lot these days because of our military returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, but PTSD isn't just for adults. Each year over 3 million children are diagnosed with PTSD. Children or adolescents who have experienced a very stressful event could be at risk. The stressful event is one in which someone's life has been threatened or a serious injury has occurred.

The Obama family is headed for Washington, but what will that mean for daughters Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10?  NBC's presidential historian Michael Beschloss and parenting expert Michele Borba discuss what life is like for kids growing up in the White House.

Watch the segment from TODAY
What are your thoughts?  How will the Obama children handle life in the White House? Leave a comment below!

More from iVillage:

• A Changing America
• What kind of puppy should the Obamas get?
• TODAY on iVillage

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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .

These are tough times for us all, but they can be especially hard if you have kids.  After all, a big part of parenting is about wanting our children to be happy and shielding them from the more painful parts of life. So when our child’s face crumbles because we can’t afford their birthday party, it’s hard. When our kids tear up because we have to say "no" to the sports gear, instrument or shoes they wanted, it’s tough. But when you lose your job, car, home, savings, or your child’s college education, it’s heart breaking because you know that your kids’ lives will change, too.

This financial crisis will affect each family a bit differently, but the key concern is: How will these tough times affect our kids? And for that we need to look at research:

Rond Conger, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis and others conducted a 20 year study of 450[i] families with school-age kids hit hard by the severe Farm Belt Recession in 1980. They found that the emotional affects of financial woes on children can be considerable triggering depression, anxiety, adjustment problems and poorer peer relationships in the kids. But the researchers also found one critical nugget:

The parents’ constant conflicts, irritability and hostile exchanges over money matters was what greatly increased the likelihood of their children's emotional and behavior problems.[ii] The parents’ constant stress over their money matters also reduced their parenting abilities so the kids’ problems remained with them through adulthood.

There is an important parenting secret here: Recognize that how you act and what you say these next days, weeks or even months can affect your children’s emotional well-being not only now but long-term. While you may not be able to save your job or house, there are ways to help your family get through these tough times.

Here are my 10 Secrets to help your children handle this financial crisis:

Watch out for the new trend of physically aggressive girls

A disturbing video of a violent physical attack on a teen girl hit the wires this week. Her assaulters were six teenage girls—cheerleaders at the local high school—and their actions were calculated and animalistic. In case you missed what happened in Lakeland, Florida here’s the recap:

On March 30 six teenage girls lured a 16-year-old former friend to a home with a phone call. She was met at the door by one girl while five others hid in another room. As she walked into the trap two teens began viciously attacking her, slamming her head against the wall, punching her in the face, and basically beating her body to a pulp. When the ambushed girl regained consciousness six of the girls took turns pounding her body, all the while laughing, cheering one another on and videoing the thirty-minute attack. One voice is heard yelling: “There is only 17 seconds left, make it good.” Two boys waited outside as lookouts. All eight teens have been arrested for assault. Their motive was apparently pure revenge. The victim apparently posted something against one of the girls on MySpace. According to her attackers the girl deserved the treatment and showed no remorse for their deeds.

While the public response has been shock (and rightly so), it’s also time for a reality check. This disturbing incident is not an isolated affair. Physical aggression amongst girls is a quickly growing trend that knows no boundaries. Rural or urban, rich or poor, the fact is “Sugar and spice and no longer nice” is no more.

Troubling statistics reveal that our new American girl is becoming as prone to violent behavior as boys. Want proof? Read on:

• Twenty years ago roughly ten boys were arrested for assault for every one girl. That ratio is now four to one.
• Girls in gangs are just as likely to participate in beatings as boys.
• U.S. Department of Justice shows that in 1990 one in 50 juvenile arrests for all crimes is a girl. In 2003 one in three juvenile arrests for violent crimes is a girl.
• More than one in every four teens aged 13 to 15 who are arrested for aggravated assault is a girl.

But even more disturbing: The greatest increase in overall percentages of violent crime arrests is among younger girls.

Aggressive behavior is unconscionable. There is no excuse. But also remember that the first step to change is awareness. Please beware of this trend. Violence is learned. Our kids deserve better lessons, folks.

Are you seeing this trend? What do you think is causing it?

Please feel free to leave comments or questions below.

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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essentail Virtues That Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing.

More from Michele Borba:

• Are we raising our daughters to be bimbos?
• Inspiring kindness in your kids
• Four risky teen behaviors every parent should know

(Special Note to Parents: It’s Time to Step Up to the Plate!)

Picture a high school gym where dozens of students lay on foam mats taking deep relaxing breaths to the cadence of their teacher’s voice. The class is Yoga 101 and it is the hot subject being taught from preschool to high school.

Educators are becoming increasingly concerned about how high stress levels affect students' emotional health and their ability to concentrate. They say students today are the most achievement-oriented batch yet. "Generation Stress" (as they’ve been nicknamed) is full of students that strive to be perfect, internalize everything, and don't know how to reduce their stress loads. To address these concerns, educators are offering stress reducers, such as yoga class, to help their students learn coping strategies.

But why are schools taking on the responsibility of teaching stress-reducers? Isn’t that the parents' job? Educators heartily concur, but are also quick to add a sad truth: Too many parents fail to recognize how just overwhelmed their children are.

Find out if your child is stressed.

Interesting research hit the news this morning dealing with ADHD and kids. I know that's a big parenting concern for many of you. Here are the findings:

The National Institute of Mental Health reported the most detailed study ever of the brains of kids with ADHD. Brain images clearly show that crucial parts of the brains of children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder develop more slowly than other kids' brains. The section that puts the breaks on their inappropriate actions, the ability to focus attention and remember things from moment to moment is just slower to mature. The development lag can be as much as three years.

That's critical information for parenting. It means we need to really tailor our strategies so that our children can process.

Here are five research takeaways that might help a child with a short attention span. I used them when I worked as a special education teacher: