Develop a feeling vocabulary. Many kids display aggression such as kicking, screaming, hitting, biting because they simply don't know how to express their frustrations any other way. They need an emotional vocabulary to express how they feel, and you can help your kid develop one. Here are a few words to start with: angry, upset, mad, frustrated, agitated, furious, apprehensive, tense, nervous, anxious, irritated, furious, ticked off, irate. Once your child learns emotion words, encourage him to "talk out his anger." Beware: Your child might yell, "I'm really angry!" Or blurt out: "You make me so mad." Do not discipline him. It's exactly what you want him to do so he learns to express his anger instead of lashing out or holding the anger in.

Use self-talk. Teach a simple, positive message your child can say to himself in stressful situations. For example: "Stop and calm down," "Stay in control," "I can handle this."

Pound it out. Pound clay, hit a pillow, shoot baskets, punch a punching bag, throw rocks at a wall (away from people), hit a wall with a foam bat. Help your child find the most effective way to calm his temper, and then encourage him to use the technique.

Go to a calm spot. Ask your child to help you set up a place where he can go to gain control. Put a few soothing things such as books, music, pens, and paper, and then encourage him to use the spot to cool down.

Tear your anger into little pieces. Tell your child to draw or write what is upsetting him on a piece of paper. Then tear it into little pieces and "throw the anger away." He can also use the concept by imaging that his anger is slowly leaving him in little pieces.

Teach: "Stop and breathe." Show your child how to inhale slowly to a count of five, pause for two counts, and then slowly breathe out the same way, again counting to five. Repeating the sequence creates maximum relaxation and reduces stress that can turn into anger.

Teach "1 + 3 + 10". Explain the formula: "As soon as you feel your body sending you a warning sign that says you're losing control, do three things. First, stop and say: 'Be calm.' That's 1. Now take three deep, slow breaths from your tummy. That's 3. Finally, count slowly to ten inside your head. That's 10. Put them all together and you have 1 + 3 + 10, and doing it helps you calm down and get back in control."

Imagine a calm place. For instance: the beach, his bed, grandpa's backyard, a tree house. The second your child feels his body warning signs kick in, tell him to close his eyes and imagine the spot, while breathing slowly.

Calming a hot-temper is not only teachable, but also essential for growing up in a sometimes violent, unpredictable world. Besides, eliminating this behavior will do absolute wonders in creating not only a child who is far more enjoyable to be with, but also a more peaceful family. If you're consistent you'll be able to help your kid learn a healthier way to handle his anger. So don't wait and don't give up!

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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.