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Is Your Kid Really Ready to Fly Alone?
Thinking of having your kid fly alone to visit someone this summer? After this week's news you just may want to rethink your plans. It seems yet another unaccompanied minor flying to visit Grandma and Grandpa was someone "misplaced" by an airline and landed in not only in the wrong city, but the wrong state! I'm well aware that airlines frequently misplace luggage (why I've learned long ago to never ever check a bag), but I'm still baffled as to how it is that airplane employees can misplace a ten-year-old child.
In this case Dad did all the "right" things to ensure that his ten-year-old daughter was delivered safely to her grandparents. Dad filled out the required airline paperwork for Continental Airlines, walked his daughter to the gate at Logan International Airport with an airline employee, and even watched his child board the plane while his parents waited patiently at the Cleveland gate for her arrival. Despite all those efforts, the daughter landed in Newark, NJ leaving two grandparents and her dad frantically trying to track her whereabouts for 45 minutes. (Can you imagine the terror?) All because the flight crew of the connecting flight failed to check the young girl's paperwork (which was hanging prominently around her neck) and escorted her to the wrong aircraft.
The good news is that the ten-year-old is safe and sound and with her grandparents. Meanwhile I'm sure most parents hearing this are in full panic mode about letting their kids fly solo anytime in the near future - if ever.
So what 's a parent to do? In divorced families there isn't always an option when it comes to kids visiting their other parent. And spending a summer with grandparents is many a kid's fondest memory. My advice: Don't be too quick to cancel your child's flight reservation --just yet anyway.
I know from personal experience that there are hundreds of kids who fly alone and really do land in the right city. I've also watched dozens of responsible airline employees help kids board planes, review their paperwork, give out individual safety instructions, and firmly let those minors know they are "not to move" until they are personally escorted to the next plane by a designated employee. Still there are always stories like this one that remind us that the unaccompanied minor system is not fail-proof. The parenting solution for this dilemma involves five quick tests to help assess whether your kid is really ready to fly alone in the friendly skies.
1. Airline Test: Are you clear about the airline policy about
unaccompanied minors? Do you know exactly what they will or won't do
for your child? Never make assumptions! (I'd still take a marking pen
and boldly print my child's destination on that hanging ticket pouch).
2. Responsibility Test: Is your kid responsible enough to fly without you? Can he spend a night away without a problem? Can he carry his backpack, cell phone and spending money on a field trip, play-date or sleepover without losing them? Does he listen and follow directions? Your child's age here isn't nearly as important as his maturity level. I've met seven-year-olds who are far more responsible than many 14-year-olds.
3. Independence Test. Can he entertain himself for a few hours? Can he stay seated for the duration of a flight? Is he capable of asking an adult for help or to use the restroom? Can he be left alone the length of the flight time? Is he assertive enough to speak up and say he getting on is on the wrong plane? Does he feel secure about taking this jaunt?
4. Phone Test. It so happens I'm writing this blog as I'm flying home. So I used the four hours as an opportunity to get the flight attendants' perspective about unaccompanied minors. Their advice: Make sure your child has a cell phone with him, knows how to contact you or his designated pickup and use it in an emergency. Does your child have that skill down pat?
5. Gate Test. Can your child read his destination and gate number on an airline ticket? Can he also read the monitor that lists departures and arrivals and match those to his ticket? Even if you say, "Yes" to all five tests, your child still should have flown in your company until he feels comfortable flying. He should also know how to use the lavatory, seat belt, store items under the seat in front of him and put away and lock his tray. This is when you can teach your child how to check the monitor and find the gate. (Except of course in Atlanta where I'm still having problems). And he should be able to do all those tasks without assistance. Of course flying is much easier when there are no connections. When changing planes is required, the scale of each of these five tests goes up a notch.
So now do you think your kid is still ready to fly alone? (By the way, at what age do you think kids are ready to fly alone?)
Get more Parenting Solutions by following @MicheleBorba on Twitter.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.
2. Responsibility Test: Is your kid responsible enough to fly without you? Can he spend a night away without a problem? Can he carry his backpack, cell phone and spending money on a field trip, play-date or sleepover without losing them? Does he listen and follow directions? Your child's age here isn't nearly as important as his maturity level. I've met seven-year-olds who are far more responsible than many 14-year-olds.
3. Independence Test. Can he entertain himself for a few hours? Can he stay seated for the duration of a flight? Is he capable of asking an adult for help or to use the restroom? Can he be left alone the length of the flight time? Is he assertive enough to speak up and say he getting on is on the wrong plane? Does he feel secure about taking this jaunt?
4. Phone Test. It so happens I'm writing this blog as I'm flying home. So I used the four hours as an opportunity to get the flight attendants' perspective about unaccompanied minors. Their advice: Make sure your child has a cell phone with him, knows how to contact you or his designated pickup and use it in an emergency. Does your child have that skill down pat?
5. Gate Test. Can your child read his destination and gate number on an airline ticket? Can he also read the monitor that lists departures and arrivals and match those to his ticket? Even if you say, "Yes" to all five tests, your child still should have flown in your company until he feels comfortable flying. He should also know how to use the lavatory, seat belt, store items under the seat in front of him and put away and lock his tray. This is when you can teach your child how to check the monitor and find the gate. (Except of course in Atlanta where I'm still having problems). And he should be able to do all those tasks without assistance. Of course flying is much easier when there are no connections. When changing planes is required, the scale of each of these five tests goes up a notch.
So now do you think your kid is still ready to fly alone? (By the way, at what age do you think kids are ready to fly alone?)
Get more Parenting Solutions by following @MicheleBorba on Twitter.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.
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I have a 9 yr old, and until earlier this year, he has never flown. But has since travelled to Cape Town from Jo'burg in South Africa, on one up from Cape Town and two return trips. It's a two hour flight with no connections. We are about to have a three week mid-year break. Having recently moved from Cape Town, all our family and friends are in Cape Town. I asked him whether he want to fly down alone to Cape Town and back and explained the procedure to him. He was very anxious and we decided he will stay. He, at 9yrs old with little flying experience, is not ready to travel on his own.
Now I have to figure out what to do with him for three weeks!!!
Last summer, my son (then 14) flew from our home in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, to visit his father in St. Louis, MO, U.S.A., alone for the first time on an international flight. My parents and I instructed him on how he had to handle the airport in Miami (customs - he was born in the US) and to ask the attendant what gate he had to board for his flight to St. Louis. Luckily, my son is very sociable, because he was stranded in the Miami airport for 6 hours due to bad weather! He finally got to St. Louis at 11 pm, 5 hours after his scheduled arrival time! How is that for his first time experience flying solo?
I just went through the experience of my 12yr flying alone. He had a 4 hour lay over in Atlanta, which turned into almost a 9 hour lay over due to a storm. As I began to worry, I was so proud of my son. While the airlines offered him nothing as in food or anything he and another kid he met on the plane managed to keep themselves amused for the long duration. On the other hand, I made sure he had money, cell phone and knew how to use it. He had his back pack that had his math flash cards, a couple of sandwiches, munchies, playing cards, a book and of course his new DSI! When he finally reached grandpas house in Jacksonville, Florida it was well after midnight and my little camper thought of it as nothing more than an adventure! An adventure that started at 4am the previous morning on a 7am flight out of Los Angeles, California. I am a PROUD PARENT of a son who was able to handle himself in an unknown situation!
My daughter, now 16, has been travelling Solo on international routes since she was 5. We live on a small island, and family is scattered around the world. The cell phone is definitely a requisite, as is a clear understanding of what the airline will and will not do. She flew from bahrain to Geneva via Amsterdam at age 13m as an unaccompanied minor, and was mortified that the airline treated her like a five year old and kept a close watch on her. I was extremely pleased. She regards each trip as a great adventure.