Hogwash! Give em a good enough spanking and they won't do it again!

I completely disagree with this article. Kids who don't get spankings are the ones who are back-talking to their parents, these are the kids you see in the supermarkets crying and acting spoiled. People who think that spankings lead kids to violence haven't done their research. Most adults who received spankings in their childhood are thankful for these spankings and have no problems doing the same with their own children. I got spankings when I was a child, am I prone to violence? No. Do hit people to get my way? No. Did that type of punishment lead me to believe that I couldn't get away with certain things? Yes. Did I continue whatever behavior that got me the spanking? No. Do I harbor any resentment toward my parents for doing this? Absolutely not.

I used to teach an introduction to Child Development to freshman. My classes would debate every semester about whether to spank or not to spank. I never revealed my own opinion to the kids. I let them debate it out. My observation was that my best, most well-behaved students were almost ALWAYS on the 'to spank' side of the room. And they had almost always been spanked as a form of punishment as children. My students that caused the most trouble were almost always on the 'not to spank' side. And they usually stated that they themselves had not been spanked, therefore they wouldn't spank their kids. From my observations, a few spankings might have done them some good.

TIFFANY. Be a good parent and you'll get good kids. This is an excellent article. Hitting is not an solution, in fact, it's an horrible act from confused, lazy and uneducated parents. If beating worked, you'd only have to do it once. It doesn't work. Once you start doing it you have to do it every time. Beat up kids tend to get it quite often. Some people manage to function in society despite a childhood filled with beatings, but most do not. I know people who were beat up every time they did wrong or disrescpted their parents - they are know criminals with no future in sight - just shows that it doesn't work. Does not.

Anna. There is a HUGE difference between spanking and beating a child. If the parent just runs up to the child and spanks him/her and walks off the child is going to be confused and scared and have no idea what they did wrong. You have to take time to explain what they are doing wrong and why it is wrong. Most people i know even give their children several chances before explaining again what they are doing wrong and then spanking. And you said that if it worked you would only have to do it once...you could say the same thing for time outs and other methods.

Spanking is the same as any other form of discipline - there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.

Bad parents will spank badly. Good parents will spank fine.

It really is as simple as that.

To make blanket statements on the topic is just, well, callow.

I agree with Cynthia 100%!!! That is the fine balance I speak of! My boys are ages 6, 12, and 16 and they are AWESOME!!!!!!!! As a matter of fact, none of my kids have even had a spanking after about age 3 or 4 because all I had to do was count...imagine that!

I occasionally spank. By spank, I mean one or two quick swats to the clothed bum. I prefer not to do it because in general, I feel that the times when I am more prone to do it are times when I am worn out and my patience isn't very high. It does generally work, and I have very good hearted kids who are generally well behaved. I prefer to use positive reinforcement, but there have been times when I felt I needed to act fast to show a complete "no tolerance" policy for impulsive unsafe behavior, especially when it puts a sibling in danger. I think most parents have had a moment when they wanted to make a moment stand out as absolutely NOT something a child should do.

I completely disagree with this article on every point. I and my three siblings were all spanked as children, and we have all grown into responsible, empathetic, self-controlled people who have exceptionally moral standards. None of us have any scars as a result of the occasional spanking. That being said, my parents spanked the correct way. They told us why they spanked us, and always took a breather before they did. They also made sure to give us hugs afterwards and told us that they loved us.

After reading all those messages is it me or is the word 'spank' starting to sound annoying? haha

I agree with Melissa, spanking is like any other form of (normal) punishment as long as it's done right. Children are not "scarred mentally" just because they are spanked. There's a difference between a harmless spanking and shouting or beating your kid. Some children need a good spanking now and again anyway, because kids certainly don't always listen to you...

I have, on occasion, spanked my child. AND I have done it in public. By spank, I mean a couple of swats with my hand on her clothed backside. It is not the preferred form of discipline in our home, but when she is totally out of bounds, and has refused to listen to me or mind me after I have warned her 3-4 times, I use my "attention-getter". AFterwards we talk about it, why I spanked and how I expect her behavior to change. I then explain that the next time she does it, these will be the consequences, and then I STICK TO WHAT I tell her I am going to do. She had a habit of slamming her bedrrom door when angry. I sat her down and talked to her, told her the next time she did it the door would be taken down until she could learn to behave properly. Of course she tested me on it and several other things, and of course, she lost her door and several other things. She has since earned them back and we've had no more problems. She's tested in other areas too and has discovered that I am consistent and WILL deprive her of a cherished object or a privilege until she straightens up. She is 10 now and spankings are pretty much a thing of the past and grounding, restriction and losing privileges are now becoming the norm, rather than spanking. But sometimes, you DO have to use that "attention-getter" and then go from there.

I have to disagree with all 10 reasons. First of all number 1 is completely wrong. I hit my daughter's arm for playing with the child proof outlet covers. After I did it I told her it was dangerous and she could get hurt. She was 1 year old at the time. At the age of 2 now, when she sees it she says don't touch. When my husband leaves it on the floor she runs to get someone to put it back in. She knows she is not supposed to touch it. All it took was one hit, not out of anger but out of love for her safety.
There is a big difference between discipline and beating. When I have to spank her I do not do it out of anger. I don't even do it often. She's pretty good at listening but when it is necessary, I do it. I don't spank her every time she misbehaves. When it is a matter of her safety and she won't listen, I will spank her.
We all have seen what happens when parents negotiate with toddlers. We know how they turn out as kids, teens, and adults. It's not a pretty site. Spanking is bad when done out of anger, that's when you can really hurt a child. Stop judging and do what works best for you family.

Some people say they use spanking because it "works." Well, you could also say that shooting a kid in the kneecaps would "work" to get him to stop running! So the "it works" argument is not a very strong one. People also say that they were spanked and grew up to be perfectly normal individuals. Well, you could also say that you were bitten by a dog but still grew up to be a perfectly normal individual. So the "it does no harm" argument doesn't work very well either. Bottom line is that there are a JILLION other methods that will get your kids to behave that are more effective than spanking and WON'T CAUSE PHYSICAL PAIN to get the message across. People just don't choose them because those methods often take more time and creativity to implement than a quick spanking.

This article assumes that parents spank "in anger." When my son was young, I worked very hard at keeping myself in control and NEVER spanking him when I was angry. My son learned quickly what behaviors were and weren't acceptable because we used spanking in a very constructive (and rare) way. Not every infraction needed a spanking - only serious or dangerous ones. I think this new generation of kids don't have a healthy fear of their parents, and that is one reason for the rampant disrespect going on!

Spanking is a lazy way of parenting. Just because it gets an immediate reaction does not mean that it is best. Research doesn't lie--there are numerous journal articles published about the long-term negative effects that spanking can have on a child. And probably 90% of what children get spanked for are for things they don't even understand. Teaching a child appropriate behavior takes time and effort, not just a quick smack on the butt or hands. And if we're speculating, I'd say the kids you see at the supermarket "back-talking and being spoiled" probably get spanked by their parents as means of getting good behavior and they know their parents aren't going to spank them right there in the supermarket. Spanking doesn't teach kids appropriate behavior, it just teaches them what they can or cannot do around their parents and reinforces the ideas of aggression and disrespect.

Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child buttock-beating isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D., and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-beating can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational literature, testimonies, documentation, etc, available on the subject that can easily be found by anyone doing some quick research on the topic.

Just a handful of those raising awareness of why child buttock-beating isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Center For Effective Discipline

PsycHealth Behavioral Health Professionals

Churches' Network For Non-Violence

Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps

Archbishop Desmond Tutu (supports Global Initiative)

Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children

United Nations Convention On the Rights of the Child

Countries where child buttock-battering is prohibited by law:
Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Denmark, Latvia, Croatia, Bulgaria, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Venezuela, Chile, Spain, Costa Rica, Republic of Moldova.
In fact, the United States was the only UN member that did not sign the Convention on the Rights of the Child.