Around the eighth grade or early adolescence many kids have their first steady relationship, "hanging out" with one another almost exclusively. Clues that they are an "item" include seeing a certain name being doodled over and over on school papers or folders or finding hearts drawn on bedroom mirrors or under pillows.

The key difference between a "steady" and a "crush" is the "quality of the attraction." Intense feelings are now "sexualized" and a parent's worst fears begin.

Tips for parents on handling first crush:

1. Insist your kid strike a balance between the "boyfriend" and other friends


2. Watch out for a sudden grade drop, overly secretive (such as closing the computer or turning off a cell phone) or an obsessive-type relationship (calling 12 times a day, writing multiple messages or insists your child be exclusive to him)


3. Set limits on using phone, Internet or IM'ing with this kid.


4. Monitor internet and voice messages. Tell him you will peruse messages.


5. Caution your kid not to send self photos in various stages of undress to the steady

More Young Love "Firsts"

• First Puppy Love
• First Crush
• First Steady
• First Breakup
• First Date
• First Real Love
• First Time

---

Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know.