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The Fall of Michael Phelps: Talking to Your Kids
It's been a tough few days for the swimming great, Michael Phelps. First, a photo of him inhaling marijuana from a pipe at a fraternity party surfaced on the Internet, and it immediately hit every news agency from here to Timbuktu. Next, Kellogg announced it would not renew its sponsorship contract with the swimmer due to the controversy, and now he's been suspended from USA Swimming for three months. Who knows what's in store next for this acclaimed athlete?I'm a huge Michael Phelps fan and cheered him on every moment he was in that Bejing swimming pool. I'm an even bigger fan of his mom, Debbie Phelps (don't you love her?), so this week's news hit me hard. But I also wonder about all those kids who are his fans and how they are taking this.
Have you talked to your children about this Michael Phelps moment? I hope you're using this saga as one of those great teaching moments. After all, children are talking about this on the playground with their peers, so why not add a little of your perspective? Here are a few talking points to discuss with your kids:
Think before you act. Conscience is a powerful motivator, but it must be cultivated--especially with teens because their impulsiveness takes over. "What's wrong with one little inhale?" they'll say. "Who will ever know?" Stress there are "no take backs," and tell your kid if they even have the slightest doubt that something is wrong, they shouldn't do it!
Use your conscience. A simple conscience test to teach your kid is the Newspaper Test: "How would you feel if your action made the headlines and everyone could read it?" It's a test I'm sure Michael wished he would have used.
There is no privacy. Stress how camera phones can make every private moment very public. The photo of Phelps is there for eternity. This Facebook generation better "know thy electronic consequences."
Actions have consequences. Many kids--not yours, but the neighbor kid next door, right?--think they can get away with bad behavior. The lesson here is this: No matter who you are or how many gold medals you earn, there are consequences to bad behavior. You will be accountable.
Actions impact others. Kids often are self-centered and don't see that their behavior is far-reaching. Use these empathy-stretching questions: "How do you think Michael's mother and sister feel right now?" Discuss the effect one bad move has had on Michael, as well as his family.
Apologize when you err. I wish every kid could see the tape of Michael Phelps apologizing last night on TV. It was a sincere "I'm sorry." Stress to your child that though you can never take back any action, you need to do what Michael did--apologize, and try to make amends for the pain you caused (which he did beautifully).
Just turn to the sports page, cut out the story, and put it on the dinner table so you're ready for your discussion tonight. What are you going to say?
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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .
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I just feel like this has been blown out of proportion. Michael Phelps was not using performance enhancing drugs that would lead us to believe he is not the swimmer we thought he was.He smoked weed, which if anything would hinder his swimming abilities. Does this mean he could swim better if he didn't smoke??? Could you imagine him beating everyone by a bigger margin than he already has, amazing. To leave this point, parents need to reinforce that role models should be people their kids know and people that they are around all the time, instead of an athlete that you and your kids do not know personally. No one is perfect and if this is the worst thing Michael Phelps ever does, I say give him another gold medal.
I agree this is so way over the top. If a rapper does it he's cool! Our society so has different standards for different people. It would be different if he had not apologized and repentant.
Why does our society love to tear down hero's when they make a mistake? 3/4 of Americans have smoked pot but never had it aired on public television for days.
Talking about A-rod, has he been forced to return millions paid to him in signing bonuses because he did it with the aid of steroids. And I have not seen the media talking about this on every station for days at a time. Maybe because they knew he had to be doing it all along.
Michael Phelps did not take performance enhancing drugs to make more money.
Michael is an American hero who can now talk to youth about making mistakes and how they can mess up your life.
This is absolutely ridiculous. Instead of persecuting Michael Phelps parents should help fight for the decriminilization of marijuana.
Alcohol, beer & tobacco are far more lethal substances that can either ruin the lives of their users or kill them. Tobacco shouldn't even be used in moderation.
There are other sport celebrities tht are vicious dog killers, rapists, wife beaters and murderers...let parents talk to their kids about them.
Sports figures should not be heroes to our kids; they are over-paid thugs for the entertainment of gamblers and drunks.
Yeah its funny how we cheer one day and boo the next, come on we are human and as such we are born to make mistakes. We have become a country of prudes really, So he smoked pot, so did President Clinton, and Hell Obama did Pot, Blow (Cocaine), Booze .... and Now he is the President of the most powerful and influential nation the world has ever seen, He has millions of young people looking up to him idolizing him, and wanting to be just like him. So if you are going to give Phelps a hard time start looking into the other people you look up to, every one makes mistakes (EVERYONE)
It those that learn from their mistakes and can grow from them that we should really look up to.