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Is My Child Gifted?
What exactly makes a “gifted” child? The definition of gifted continues to be hotly debated. To date, there is no single agreed-upon definition. What is agreed is that high intelligence exists and it may be expressed in many different ways. Gifted children include persons from all ethnic groups and lifestyles and not merely “privileged environments.”
Watch the segment from TODAY
Parents are usually the first to recognize a child’s giftedness quite early. Truly gifted kids are different. Their driving force is their brain—and it is fundamental to everything about them.
Typically, to be identified as “gifted” by a school district, the child must be given an individual IQ test by a certified psychologist. The child may be gifted in only certain areas (language or verbal abilities or music), or exceptional in math but not in language.
Typically, to be identified as “gifted” by a school district, the child must be given an individual IQ test by a certified psychologist. The child may be gifted in only certain areas (language or verbal abilities or music), or exceptional in math but not in language.
IQ tests generally have the following criteria:
- An IQ test measures potential broadly and some ability areas specifically
- An achievement test that measures what the child expresses he has learned so far
- An IQ score of 130 is usually used as a cut-off score for gifted. A gifted child typically has mental abilities in the upper 2.5 to 3 percent of the population
- Gifted philosophy. The staff understands gifted children and their needs, is regularly trained in gifted education and has a clear plan to help each child reach his potential.
- Acceleration & enrichment. A challenging curriculum that stretches the child’s mind (and is still based on realistic expectations).
- Multiple options & flexibility. The curriculum should be flexible to fit the child’s academic needs and provide the opportunity for the child to study a topic in depth.
- Sound identification process. How does the school identify gifted children? Ideally the process should not be based on just one test score but also take into consideration teacher recommendations and clearly talented and exceptional children.
- Matches your child’s needs. Can you see your child in this setting? Would he be comfortable and get along with the other kids and this teacher? Is there a guidance component to help your child “fit” in or handle his perfectionist tendencies and highly sensitive traits?
A common myth is that gifted kids are not aware of being different unless someone tells them they are. Wrong! Gifted kids pick up early on that they “get things” much quicker and even “think” differently than other children by the age of three of four. By the time your child enters school she will need an explanation of some kind as to why she is different. Here are things to consider: - Watch out for “Trophy” status. A feeling of entitlement (I’m better or smarter) or an attitude of arrogance are huge turn-offs. Better to point out: “Every child has special talents that are different but no less valuable.”
- Don’t use the “G” word. Most gifted kids hate the term “gifted” because it makes them “stand apart” when they want to fit in. They also hate to serve as “examples” for other kids. It’s better to downplay “You’re gifted” and stress the specific trait your child excels: “You’re a quick learner" or “You’re talented in math.”
- Stress effort, not IQ. A famous Columbia University study followed dozens of middle school math students for two years and found that, regardless of their IQ, regardless of their IQ found that those labeled “smart” received lower grades than those kids praised more for their effort. When kids think intelligence is FIXED (and can’t be improved) they give up quicker. So, regardless of your child’s IQ, switch your praise from “smart” to “effort.”
If you do believe that your child is gifted, don’t be so near-sighted that you only see the IQ score. Remember to educate the whole child—for heart as well as mind. A gifted child’s intellectual development and emotional maturity seldom keep pace with each other. IQ score is only a single statement of a child’s overall potential.
Bottom line: Love your child for who he is—not for what you hope he will become. Basic good parenting is the same regardless of your child’s IQ.
Michele answers specific questions about gifted children:
- Are we pushing too hard?
- Should she go to public or private school?
- Should I even bother labeling my child as gifted?
- Why are parents embarrassed of having smart kids?
- How can I boost my child's academic confidence?
Do you have any questions or tips of your own? Leave a comment below.
Get more info from TODAY on iVillage.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .
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I am having problems with my daughter.She can listen to a song once or twice and knows every word but we can not get her to do her school or home work.How can we conbine these two things together so she can do better in school.
Thank you for the comments on gifted children. My daughter is in the top .01 percent of the population. The staff and administrators, including the school psychologist have no experience with gifted children. The teachers idea last year, for a challenge, was a whopping three extra spelling words per week. We live in Connecticut and unfortunately we are way behind the times. www.geniusdenied.com is an excellent source. More needs to be done.Keep up the promotions...Dani McEvoy
My son has just started sixth grade at a new school. He was in accelerated math classes in elementary school and therefore is now ahead. My concern with pushing him into an advanced math class is that it will just mean more homework. I want him to be challenged but I feel too many schools think that that means parents are asking for more homework. I don't feel that kids should have a "second job" so to speak. Where's the balance?
So more than half of the parents at our school have gifted children. Just ask them they will tell you. I think all children should be challenged and and think it is a total approach not just the school and not just the parent. But the gifted thing seems to have become more of a status symbol. It is great that the are sharp and learn quick but can they interact with other students? Can they interact with other students that are different than they are? Whats the race? Look at the whole being and set your goals from there.
I have a two year old daughter, she not only loves music but reallly likes dancing more than the average child.... what is a good age to put her in dance classes?
My 8th grade daughter is "gifted". Accelerated math (Algebra, which she will get HS credit for), and accelerated RLA. She has always done excellent in school, and has always enjoyed her work, and has a passion for music. Because of this passion that I and others saw before she was even 2, I found a children's choir that she joined in 1st grade. She's been there almost 7 years now. Anyway, all was well till 7th grade when she tried out and made the Volleyball team, and again this year. It only lasts until mid Oct, but her grades are not like they use to be. Last year after VB her grades improved, but then she did drama club, and was still in her choir. During VB season, every single day after school is practice or a game, and God help you if you need to miss even 1 day evey 2 weeks. Which now means she can't be in her choir that 1 day a week because she will miss the VB practice or game and will get punished, so she can't start choir now till January, cause she'd be too far behind for the Christmas stuff. Add to the fact that now the teen thing is happening, football games, over-nighters with girlfriends, boyfriends (sorta), plus homework, chores, and hardly no free time to enjoy what she always loved doing, her music...singing, piano, flute, and her school work. I guess I just don't know how to balance what is really important in not just her life, but ours, also. She loves the VB for the exercise, social aspects, and the learning involved. She says she likes seeing how she sees improvement in herself, with her playing, and the way her body is in even better shape. That's good, but I feel she's losing out on other things. When her grades, which were always A's are now interspersed with F's and D's, I'm confused. She needs the grades for many things, including college. What does a person do? Sometimes kids start out with a bang when they are younger, then it can backfire if you don't know how to keep it going, or when other activites from mostly the schools get your child's attention.
My daughter is an excellent singer, and her piano and flute are excellent, too. What to do...or...do nothing and let her find her own way?
If you have a young child, like 6th grade and under,just remember, things have a way of changing after that. How do you keep the balance? What is really important? I really don't know.
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From Lucky Winner.
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I am Lucky Winner.the only child of late Mr and Mrs .Fredrick Winner
My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discus on a business deal. When my mother died my father took me special because i was his only child and motherless. Before the death of my father in a private hospital here in Abidjan.He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of $19.500.000 left in a suspense account in a prime Bank here in Abidjan,
that he used my name as his only child as the next of kin in deposit of the fund. He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of money his business associates supposed to balance him from the business they had that he was poisoned by his business associates, that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate
management). I honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.
(1).To serve as the guardian of this fund since I did not have any idea of any bussiness.
(2.)To assist me provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to.
(3.)To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to continue my education since my late father has adviced me to leave the country.
I am willing to offer you 15% of the sum a compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund to your designate account overseas. Anticipating to hear from you soon.Email;lucky_101_121@yahoo.com
Thanks and God Bless.
Best regards
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