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Tips for Tackling Tough Topics With Tweens and Teens
Let’s face it, raising teens can sometimes feel like you’re walking through a loaded minefield. Moody. Irritable. Quick-tempered. But let’s get into their shoes. At no other time in their lives will they go through so many physical, emotional and cognitive changes. It’s also exactly why communicating with teens can be so darn touchy. Research also shows kids today are hitting puberty earlier and dealing with much tougher grown-up issues at far younger ages. Even acne – once thought to be a “teen problem” – is now common for school-age kids. And the skin condition can really pack an emotional punch on our kids, rousing those feelings of anger and frustration as well as significantly impacting their self-esteem. One survey found almost half of adolescents were too embarrassed to go to school because of their acne; one third admitted they were afraid to make friends.
Kids are stressed out enough these days, but when I discovered just how much acne added to kids’ concerns I partnered with Galderma, the maker of Differin acne products, to launch www.mychildsacne.com. Our goal was to provide parents with tips on how to talk about emotionally-charged subjects like acne. Once you open up that conversation, bridging to some of those harder topics – like drinking, sex and drugs – should be a whole lot easier. The Talking Acne with Your Teen E-Guide (which you can download from the site) includes tips to help you bridge communication gaps and stay connected with your teen, and ways to boost his or her self-esteem. It also gives mom the 411 on acne and advice on how to help teens keep their skin healthy for the long term.
Here are a few tips featured in the e-guide that you can use to talk about acne – or any other tough topic – with your teen:
Just remember you do make a difference! A 2007 MTV/Associated Press poll found that the majority of young people cite their parent as their heroes and even seek us out for advice (Yes!!!). So stay connected!
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .
- Get to be a know-it-all. Show interest in the issues affecting your teen by researching the topic beforehand – whether it’s acne, peer pressure, bullying or dating woes. Be prepared to back-up your advice with information and facts by framing the discussion in a way your teen can relate to.
- Avoid talk blockers. Watch out for those nonverbal sounds like heavy sighs. Don’t talk too much, as you don’t want to sound like you’re preaching. Keep your tone conversational. Teens are sensitive and pick up on our body language. You may be sending “talk blocker” vibes that turn kids off without even knowing it.
- Get into your kid’s zone. Timing is everything, especially when it comes to talking with your teen. Know when he or she is most receptive to talking. Then make sure you are available at that time. I discovered with one of my kids that the best time to get his attention was 5 pm in the afternoon – near the refrigerator. So, I made it a habit to plant myself there whenever possible.
- Be tech savvy. A recent survey found that more than half of teens say texting has improved their relationship with their parents. Almost 70% of parents say they communicate with their kids by text messaging. So, if you don’t know how to text, ask your teen to teach you. Parents and even some doctors are texting to get kids to remember to take their medication. Use text and email to send reminders/quick updates and check-in with your teen – “u have dr app at 4.” “Did u take ur acne med? Prom is coming up! Mall at 3?” “How did the test go?”
- Give praise where praise is due. Even though your teen won’t show it, he/she thrives on positive recognition. Tell your teen how proud of him or her you are. It can be for anything – following a new skincare routine, doing well in school, exhibiting nice manners – the list is endless. For example, if your teen has been grappling with acne and is taking measures to treat it, you can say, “Hey, I can really see your acne is improving now that you started the treatment the doctor prescribed.”
- Teach your teen to become his/her own boss. We all need to take responsibility for our own lives. Teens, who crave independence, are ready to get involved and learn this important life skill. Help your teen do research online, talk about visiting the doctor together, and let him/her come up with his/her own list of questions before you jump in right away.
Just remember you do make a difference! A 2007 MTV/Associated Press poll found that the majority of young people cite their parent as their heroes and even seek us out for advice (Yes!!!). So stay connected!
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .
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Another difficult subject is menstruation and a girl's first period. We have developed a simple, effective tool to help parents discuss this topic with their daughters. Visit us at www.dotgirlproducts.com to read more about The Dot Girl's First Period Kit.
you can find out about acne and how to treat it at Acne Tratment blog