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Q&A: Solutions for the "Terrible Twos"
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My name is Jackie and I watch my two-year-old nephew during the day. He's like any two-year-old and curious about everything, especially the cat box. *eww* He throws toys into the cat box and it's like a magnet for him. Whenever anyone is downstairs on the computer and he's downstairs as well he's automatically drawn to the cat box. When I tell him to stop playing with the cat box he gets angry and hits me sometimes bites, too. What is the best ways to handle these issues?
Hello Jackie! Welcome to the Terrible Twos. Now you know how the term evolved. Here's the quick points on discipline a two-year-old:
You're dealing with a caveman mentality. Lectures and pleading don't work. Time out rarely works under three years of age because they don't grasp the consequence of their behavior. Their language and their cognitive development is also limited so they're not going to understand if you try to reason with them. Two-year-olds are also quick and impulsive. (You figured that one, eh? Twos and threes are actually the most aggressive and impulsive times ever in our lives.) They don't have that inner regulatory system so they stop and calm down on their own, which means you are the one to help them. Two-years-olds are also loving, into everything, want to please you desperately, and just don't get what you're trying to tell them. So what works?
Distraction. When you know he's headed for something that is off limits, you head em off: "Look at the birdie!"
Removal of the appealing item. Out of sight, out of mind. Move the cat litter box! Put it in the bathroom and close the door. Or put a box in front of it so your nephew can't see it.
Get him his own sandbox. No kidding. A small little tub of sand or water (which are the two mediums little kids crave. Give him a couple pots and pans and voila! He's a happy camper.
And remember-- always be calm.
Just know that there usually is the "skip a terror" principle. Usually the year following the tough year is an easier one... hope so with your nephew!
Click here to read more of Michele Borba's Q&As, or leave a comment below with your own questions and it may be answered next week.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .
My name is Jackie and I watch my two-year-old nephew during the day. He's like any two-year-old and curious about everything, especially the cat box. *eww* He throws toys into the cat box and it's like a magnet for him. Whenever anyone is downstairs on the computer and he's downstairs as well he's automatically drawn to the cat box. When I tell him to stop playing with the cat box he gets angry and hits me sometimes bites, too. What is the best ways to handle these issues?
Hello Jackie! Welcome to the Terrible Twos. Now you know how the term evolved. Here's the quick points on discipline a two-year-old:You're dealing with a caveman mentality. Lectures and pleading don't work. Time out rarely works under three years of age because they don't grasp the consequence of their behavior. Their language and their cognitive development is also limited so they're not going to understand if you try to reason with them. Two-year-olds are also quick and impulsive. (You figured that one, eh? Twos and threes are actually the most aggressive and impulsive times ever in our lives.) They don't have that inner regulatory system so they stop and calm down on their own, which means you are the one to help them. Two-years-olds are also loving, into everything, want to please you desperately, and just don't get what you're trying to tell them. So what works?
Distraction. When you know he's headed for something that is off limits, you head em off: "Look at the birdie!"
Removal of the appealing item. Out of sight, out of mind. Move the cat litter box! Put it in the bathroom and close the door. Or put a box in front of it so your nephew can't see it.
Get him his own sandbox. No kidding. A small little tub of sand or water (which are the two mediums little kids crave. Give him a couple pots and pans and voila! He's a happy camper.
And remember-- always be calm.
Just know that there usually is the "skip a terror" principle. Usually the year following the tough year is an easier one... hope so with your nephew!
Click here to read more of Michele Borba's Q&As, or leave a comment below with your own questions and it may be answered next week.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know .
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I have a 2 year old (27 months) son. He was into everything. Now all he wants to do is watch Blue's Clues. If I turn the TV off he gets very mad and throws a fit...cries, rolls around on the floor, etc. I have tried distracting him with toys or going outside.. The toys work for a few minutes but then he looses interest. I am at my wits end because I know TV is not good for their eyes, brains, etc. Any suggestions would be helpful.
I have a 26 mth old girl. She is starting to explore many things and obviously will not do as she is told. More often than not, she will be playing/touching/doing things which she is not suppose to do. The terrible two's...
I also have a 8 wk old baby girl so that makes it harder for my elder child. I guess some of the things or tantrums that she throws is to seek attention.
My concern is that I am getting more and more easily irritated with her behaviour and in some situations, I end up being so frustrated that I end up shouting or screaming at her. I keep telling myself to remain calm but most times i end up losing my temper! What should I do?
AT WHAT AGE CAN YOU START TO DISPLINE A CHILD?