Hi Michelle. I appreciate your comments on destressing our kids. As the ultimate "Helicopter Mom" I can sympathize with mothers who are trying to help their kids in this stressful world. My kids were pushed to the edge, got into Ivy League schools and have great jobs. But...they are not happy because they they still feel tremendous pressure, as do their friends. As the "Helicopter Mom", I still do my part to help them. We went through coping with sleep issues, pressures of getting that great job, making and spending so much money to look good to compete in the dating world, and just keeping up with peers. Us parents never had this pressure growing up and we are not seeing the ramifications from raising our "perfect kids". I see all these kids in their 20's, as depressed, insecure and unsatisfied. They seem to always crave more and more and more. I am doing everything I can as a mom to help them cope with life and it's pressures. There is no relaxing for them or us. When will we be able to start enjoying life?

I was very interested in your segment on the Today show. I am a retired teacher (33 years) and I found that there were the two extremes. The kids whose parents overscheduled them and put a lot of pressure on them to be at the top of the class, and those who didn't value education at all. I am totally against the hours spent in test preparation, nights of long homework assignments, and constant standardized testing that goes on, especially at the youngest levels. Teachers that keep portfolios of each child work can easily show parents what skills their children have mastered and what still needs to be learned. Those work samples are from each day, all through the year and not just from a few hours on one or two days. Much of this pressure comes from the No Child Left Behind Act started by President Bush. Perhaps things will improve for our children when parents join together to make changes in their schools policies and we get a new administration.

Hurray to Barbara... I too am a teacher, however, I've got about 20 years until retirement. It saddens me to see the amount of strain put on our babies. It's no wonder some of these kids are freaking out and doing some very violent and destructive things. The administration has forced us to stop looking at the human component of the little ones we are teaching and force them to "suck it up." We can't be talking about the fact that your dog died, we have to work on letter sounds for goodness sake! What's worse is that some of these children are receiving no care at home and then are scolded when they come back to us without the 20 page report done. Come on! They are people first and we all need to remember to feed their hearts and bellies before we worry about their times tables.

Hurray to Barbara... I too am a teacher, however, I've got about 20 years until retirement. It saddens me to see the amount of strain put on our babies. It's no wonder some of these kids are freaking out and doing some very violent and destructive things. The administration has forced us to stop looking at the human component of the little ones we are teaching and force them to "suck it up." We can't be talking about the fact that your dog died, we have to work on letter sounds for goodness sake! What's worse is that some of these children are receiving no care at home and then are scolded when they come back to us without the 20 page report done. Come on! They are people first and we all need to remember to feed their hearts and bellies before we worry about their times tables.

Michelle,
I thought your segment on the high school program to reduce student stress was great. Is there a correlation between alcohol and drug use among teens and student stress?

I am the mother of 4 ranging in age from 17 to 6. The pressure put on our students from kindergarten has gotten out of hand. The push to read and write and over achieve leads to mediocrity. I have a senior who was excepted to every school she applied to. She needs no help in putting pressure on herself. She takes ap and college level classes taught by teachers who do not know the meaning of down time or vacation time. The work is just piled on with no thought to its use, necessity or time needs. But as a voice of one in the land of "the test" my objections and concerns fall on deaf ears. Many parents feel they have no voice, this is just the way it is. I will continue in my district to be a voice for my children until someone wakes up and realizes that childhood doesn't come around a second time. We should improve our education in order to make childhood a time of learning and growing, not pushing and testing and pressuring our youth. Won't they have enough "adulthood" when they are adults?

Thank you so much for your segment on stress in our kids. I am currently engaged in a battle with my daughter's school to help her with her stress and anxiety. She has exhibited alot of the signs that were in your segment. I appreciate the signs list because it helps me know that I am on the right track with my daughter. I just hope the school with help us!
Thanks again!

Regarding stressed out children, I have also observed an "acadmic hierarchy" that is occuring among high school due to advanced placement programs. It convinces those very bright children who are not in advanced placement class that they are not bright. The end result, less stress from academic pressures but a lowered self-esteem that is not deserved.

I tuned in to Today and watched/heard this nervous, twitchy, too fast talking woman, Michelle who talked about stress in kids. After 2 minutes I became stressed just listening to her. I say she's STRESS personified - what I consider a nervousness that promotes stress in those around her including the interrupting, bi-vocal conversational speech inherent in so much media. I turned off the program, looked out the window at the chrystaline snow fall from last night, decided to put on my x-country skiis and enjoy the day. This world can present too much pressure. No wonder my older grandchild when he comes to my house says, "Grandma. it's so peaceful here".
Give kids a break and and to Today people, use guests that are representative of the balanced life which they are suposed to represent. Thanks.

While I respect today's guest for trying to encourage reading, I greatly resent his comment that teachers do not know how to teach reading. I have taught for 30 years. I had numerous courses in reading in college back in the '60's and I cannot count how many inservice courses I have been required to take to keep current on new reading methods. I have had many student teachers over the years and all are very informed about teaching reading. To say that teachers do not know how to teach reading is a gross misstatement. Teaching reading is what an elementary teacher is all about!

I am a parent of 16year old son from a previous marriage and now a new 5mos. old daughter and facing a seperation from her father in what is now my fourth marriage because of abuse..My son was never home to witness my other abusive marriages or this one, but he is now aware that I have been a repeated victim of abuse..He is currently a C student in an IB accelerated program in a very stressful HS agenda taking college courses..He expresses a desire to pursue a higher education..What can I do to find out whether stress is a factor in his life??We talk a lot, but I don't know that he is telling me everything..He wants me to be OK and from what I can see, He is not in trouble behaviorally with school, but he is not going to bed early enough and can be irritable from time to time?? What can I do to get to the bottom of this, because of pressure from my in-laws and my own family members to stay in an abusive relatiionship for the kids sake, I feel gulty for seperating but feel it is best.

I enjoyed watching Today's show on the signs of stress in todays' kids. I am a mother of two(24 and 15) and the stresses are not any easier with the 24 yr old out of the house. Our 15 yr old, I think, puts too much stress on himself. He worries about exams, following a schedule from Monday to Friday with piano, karate and homework. His week is not jammed packed like other kids that I know. I think that society is adding stress on kids because if you don't have the lastest in technology (like an iPod) then you are a "nobody". As hard as it is to say no sometimes, you have to. Talking to your child helps to alleviate some of the stresses that is going on with them. The key is always to keep that "door" open to them to talk or just to vent.

I enjoyed watching your show today about teenage stress. I know a therapist that has started support groups for parents and teens to help them deal with stress. She has given many vouluteer workshops, that parents and teens have found very beneficial. If you would like any further information you may contact me at Dap8106@aol.com

I enjoyed watching your show today about teenage stress. I know a therapist that has started support groups for parents and teens to help them deal with stress. She has given many vouluteer workshops, that parents and teens have found very beneficial. If you would like any further information you may contact me at Dap8106@aol.com

I enjoyed watching your show today about teenage stress. I know a therapist that has started support groups for parents and teens to help them deal with stress. She has given many vouluteer workshops, that parents and teens have found very beneficial. If you would like any further information you may contact me at Dap8106@aol.com

I also enjoyed the segment on children, teens and stress. My children are grown, I do though have grandchildren in grade school and junior high. The fourth grader, comes home every night with at least 2 hours of homewk, some of the math is really extreme for that grade. Our grandchild in junior high, was tested in late fall, results were great, above average but was below what they deemed he was not ready for college classes. REALLY is a 7th grader supposed to be ready for college work. what happened to high school then college. They put so much pressure on their work, that these kids are totally stressed out, I wonder why?? And yes I also have abeen a teacher, so I know that a lot is expected of us.

I also enjoyed the segment on children, teens and stress. My children are grown, I do though have grandchildren in grade school and junior high. The fourth grader, comes home every night with at least 2 hours of homewk, some of the math is really extreme for that grade. Our grandchild in junior high, was tested in late fall, results were great, above average but was below what they deemed he was not ready for college classes. REALLY is a 7th grader supposed to be ready for college work. what happened to high school then college. They put so much pressure on their work, that these kids are totally stressed out, I wonder why?? And yes I also have abeen a teacher, so I know that a lot is expected of us.

I have a 18 yr old in college and i noticed all the stress signs, I would like to call someone, hwoever I do not have insurance, do you have any suggestions.

I was so saddend to hear about this stress and anxiety epidemic with our children. I myself have observed this with family members and friends children and even my own children were stressed at one time but because of what my husband and I had put them through by selfishly fighting and cursing at each other, which so many parents do!!! I have 3 children a 10 year old girl, a seven year old boy and a 7 month old girl. While kids are being pushed too hard at school and extracuricular activities, we also have to look at what these children are experiencing at home as well. THe stress, anxiety and depression are from not having enough time with mom and dad, with mom and dads fighting or divorce or mom and dads new wife or husband and their new baby or abandonment from either dad or mom. Now the standards that they are expected to meet in school is one more thing on them. As Carol said, "I see all these kids in their 20's, as depressed, insecure and unsatisfied. They seem to always crave more and more and more."

tell you what. We have yanked God out of school. these kids are not wonderful creation from God...they are accidents. Why not live like there is no hope for tommorrow...you are taught you are just lucky mud. Teach them that they matter, that there are absolutes, that there is right and wrong. I would be stressed if i thought this life is all that there is...where is the hope? I would feel stressed if i thought there was not any moral absolutes...why not kill when you get pissed off? Kids matter because they where created...they were knitted together in their mother's womb and have purpose and hope in Him.

I have twin boys that are 4 yrs old and will be starting pre-k tommorow. They are terrified & I've tried most of your tips. One of them has almost every one of the signs of being stressed. Several family members have noticed that he has serious meltdowns & have mentioned that maybe he needs to talk to someone. Is 4 too young to decide this? I'm thinking that maybe he's just really worried about starting school. He's very attatched to me & is very shy, unlike his twin brother. I worry that while his brother is fitting in with the other kids he's going to be left out. He's very sensitive which can be good or bad depending on the situation. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!

I recently read a fantastic book that may help called "The Optimistic Child" by Martin Seligman PhD, also see www.authentichappiness.org. I have found this information to be very helpful with my eldest son in forth grade, and it also works well with his six year old brother. In speaking with the principal at my son's school today, she mentioned that she and the school psychologist were just talking about how much more of their time is spent in one-on-one interventions with stressed out kids than ever before. We are truly in the midst of an epidemic that is of greater concern than climate change. I have developed a program for elementary aged kids that teaches emotional literacy called "An Exercise in Happiness." The pilot program conducted at a Colorado elementary school showed almost instant results, and the program has been scheduled at another school as of today. Please email me for more info at: patrick@kidscandoanything.com or visit www.KidsCanDoAnything.com

Dear Dr. Michele Borba,
I don't have any comment on your articles, no qns its very helpful in understanding kid's psychology. But i need a great help for one of my family members. Since i found that you are a grt Child psychologist, i thought you might help me. It's about my Sis-in-law presently of 25yrs, but has a very different problem, and we have been trying number of Dr. here in India, but could not reached to the solution. If you think you can help me in any manner, kindly reply me back on nehalkpd@yahoo.co.in.
Hoping for the positive reply, thanking you,
Regards,
Nehal Kapadia

"There is no relaxing for them or us. When will we be able to start enjoying life?"

Maybe when you kill the rotors, Heli-Carol, and figure out that your kids are in their twenties and should be able to figure out "coping with sleep issues, pressures of getting that great job, making and spending so much money to look good to compete in the dating world, and just keeping up with peers," ALL ON THEIR OWN.

Gee, what a concept.

All people have stress. Yes, school can be stressful. I'm a college freshman and I clearly remember my high school classmates' stresses and it doesn't get much better in college. I think a lot of the stress is self-inflicted, though. Too many people screw around in class, procrastinate, get caught up in social dramas, forget to study, don't turn in homework, and generally act irresponsible, and then they get the epiphany: oh yeah, I'm supposed to be acing this, and that causes panic. I also think that kids are trying to do too much with all of the stupid extracurricular activities. But really, I think people are too stressed about stress. I don't think it's this big terrible "epidemic" afflicting the poor innocent schoolchildren. It's just part of life.

How to handle stress.(1) Enjoy life! Make sure your kids are doing things they enjoy, not what mom and dad wants them to do or be.
When my child was younger, I "forced" her to study piano with the top pianist teacher in the country. Enrolled her for extra classes so she gets ahead, etc. As time went on, I realized what I did was right, but I was pressuring her to do things. When she got older, she stopped doing these things and I ended up letting her choose what she wanted so she enjoys what she is doing.
(2) Take time to spend quality leisure time...Make sure you get a vacation at least once a year. It clears up your head and recharged to handle difficult situations
(3) Self esteem is very important. Build it. This way, they know how to say "no" to pressure.
(4) NO DRUGS!!! Whether given by a psychiatrist or illegal drugs. There are lots of ways to handle stress.
(5) Look at your kids' friends and make sure they are good influence. Invite them over in your house and have a good time once in a while. You may need to talk to your child if there is a problem, (if your child values your opinions)