Life was never ment to be complicated. Complication kills joys. It seems that people make life more complex than it suppose to be.My husband and I are raising three daughters ages 20,15,11. They have never seemed to be stressed out with any of these things. The only thing that will stress them out is schoolwork and it should because that is their JOB right now. I guess what makes my husband and I different when raising our girls, is that we still let them be kids just like we were but we also DISICIPLINE them and use our good old fashioned mid-western common sense.....which seems to be dissapperaing these days. It's rather peaceful at our house because I keep it simple. .....KEEP THINGS SIMLPIER......The only thing thing that stresses me out is the cost of college education. Easily 80k to a 100k in debt.That is a real problem.

Life was never ment to be complicated. Complication kills joys. It seems that people make life more complex than it suppose to be.My husband and I are raising three daughters ages 20,15,11. They have never seemed to be stressed out with any of these things. The only thing that will stress them out is schoolwork and it should because that is their JOB right now. I guess what makes my husband and I different when raising our girls, is that we still let them be kids just like we were but we also DISICIPLINE them and use our good old fashioned mid-western common sense.....which seems to be dissapperaing these days. It's rather peaceful at our house because I keep it simple. .....KEEP THINGS SIMLPIER......The only thing thing that stresses me out is the cost of college education. Easily 80k to a 100k in debt.That is a real problem.

I do share some of these worries as a new parent. However I look back to my own upbringing. My parents took an active role in it and taught me and spent time with me. We as parents are the #1 influence in our children's lives from the beginning. It is up to us to be responsible to teach our kids to be kids. Show them how to play outside, or be constructive and creative. We can teach our children how to think for themselves. With a strong upbrining many of these worries lessen. It is up to us and building and keeping a strong relationship. This is done by being an active part of their lives and spending time with them, teaching them, showing them, leading by example.

I have raised 2 of my 4 kids into adult hood, one will go to college next fall the last is 13. I am a stong believer in talking to my kids about everything from TV shows & their contents; to sex,& being ready for a relationship. My kids come to me with all kinds of sbujects & I listen. They are great adults & soon to be adults. Smart, very responsible, polite to all ages of people, hard working & just fun to be around! For the remaing 2 I fear for their eduction, that I can afford to send them to college, etc. & jobs of the futre. I feel very sorry for the society today & the lack of role models for kids. More broken homes, not marrying at all or having 2-3 kids all with different men or women. What are we saying to kids about morals??

Denise - I was right with you until I got to the end of your post. I thought we were discussing stress, not morals. I am a single parent of two (adopted) children and you can count on the fact that they are being raised to be moral, responsible and productive members of society, even though our family might not fit into your cookie-cutter fictional world of the two-parent household. It is judgemental people like you who make me fear for society.

This is an important topic. My son born in 1989-was shy and did not want to join activities when he was little. I became a stay at home mom and kept thing simple for him because he grew anxious when things got ramped-up. He did not do music lessons,art lessons,ski lessons,etc. We had to force him to play soccer more for exercise and social than because it was the "in" sport in our town. NOW, he has a very thin resume for college because he hasn't been scheduled form AM to PM with activities like most of his peers. He will be judged next to kids who have been busy bees since they were 4 yet, he could not have handled that kind of life. It's fine for kids who thrive on the rush-life but it should not be used as a gauge as how interesting or worthy they are as students applying to colleges. Everyone is an individual but college puts a premium on kids who have never taken a day off since they could walk. My niece spends more time away from home doing dancing,singing,plays,piano and is on Zoloft! That is just wrong.

I just read the "Essentials of Smart Parenting" by Dr. Carl Arinoldo. It not only covered parenting tips, but also offered some easy-to-follow stress reduction techniques.(Which is why I thought of it in relation to this post). It might help others out there struggling with child-rearing related stress too.

Thank you for the information, I have just read the "Essentials of Smart Parenting" which I clicked on to off of watching your program this morning. It has been helpful, in giving me some insight into what has been going on in our sons life. Thank you again. I do believe as Katherine has posted that it may help others out there struggling with child-rearing related stress too, and also newly made step-parents. Thanks Again

I am so glad to see that stress in children is being recognized and pointed out because it is a huge issue. Most parents only see it in themselves but kids today have so many stresses on their time. Multi-tasking, schooling, sporting events, when is there time to have fun and just be a child? Homework loads are off the chart, expectations are through the roof, it's all kinda crazy but they also need to keep up with everyone else.

We worry about our children being stressed out, well I ask why do they have all the modern gagets that we as adults have to work to pay for? Our children are 'playing adult' when they get unlimited use of cell phones & internet access. When is a child still a child? Why do they need adult toys? We talk about stress and the influences of society and the media, but there seems to be no self control with parents and the modern gagets that come out. When does a parent tell their child 'NO'? The supply & demand of cell phones is HUGE, not to mention the internet societies children log into.

I have a 7 year old and I co-parent my boyfriend's 2 teenage girls. The teenagers, much to my dismay, have unsensored access to the internet with both their computers & cell phones at both homes. I fight to have more control over the access these girls have when they are here.

It appears that society is pushing these kids to be more 'adult' like; allowing the kids to think like an adult and behave like one..where does it end?

I share in this. I have a son with Autism, BiPolar and ADHD. He stresses easy and if he sees my stress he will feed off of it. I try to find as much time to spend with him as possible and try to keep life calm. He really enjoys just some Mom time or just act silly once in a while I have done that with him and he realizes that hey mom can be a kid to. School for a child is very stressful they stress very high academic standards and when they do not achieve it hurts. I compliment the things he does well I want him to feel good about himself. If he does not do right the 1st time I say better next time oh well. Look at that whole child sit back and realize they grow up like you. I have read many books and still am learning. Being a parent does not stop, and this is a life long learning lesson. Our children should be priority not the job, the appointment, or some elaborate home. Our children are the family and HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.

I agree with what a lot of you are saying. I think it's important that we recognize the stressors our children face. However, I think we've left out a few biggies. Kate, I really feel what you're saying about kids being judged against the superachievers and coming up short. Many colleges are beginning to put less emphasis on ACT/SAT scores for admission, and I think that's an important first step. But we need to look at kids far younger...did you know that it is not uncommon for 2nd graders now to have ulcers caused by stress that comes from their parents about their academic achievement? That's just crazy. Another big source of stress is parents ourselves: We stress so much about monitoring what our children are experiencing that we forget to teach them the important, though unpleasant, lessons in life, like how to fail and move on. Most children have absolutely no unscheduled or unsupervised time in their days. No adult could do that. When do they get to have unstructured play with other children?

Very informative

Little girls do not need to dress up like sexy little adults. They do not need Bratz dolls. Little boys don't have to spend all their time with video games. Nor do they need to wear gangsta clothes. You want to make this a better place. Stop letting everybody dictate how your children should look and live. Tell Madison Ave. to go to hell, dress your kids in "cute" clothes and let them learn how to play outside. If the parents didn't buy the stuff, it would be off the shelves....believe me.

I know I worry too much about my daughter and she's only seven years old. Firstly, allow me to give you a little background of my self. I come from The Philippines and 10 years ago Married my Englsih husband and currently living in Britain. Being away from my Family it's proving to be so difficult. My husband works full time and all of the saturday mornings except when he is ill. All the household duties I tried to including the cooking are all mine and all the school meetings and all the homeworks... I love it don't get me wrong. I could do with a spare hand sometimes when I'm not feeling well which I'm so deprived of. I wish my family are near me . Stressful ok but nothing more stressfull thanlistening to news about kidnapping and bombming etc.I feel sorry for my daughter because of constant fears of us not locking the doors at night, of course we lock them but the poor child is so scared being abducted in the middle of the night. But what do we do? The world isnt safe at all but we try just to be vigilant!

My husband and i are rasing our grans-daughter due to her parents being drugaddicts. We have had the child since birth. The adoption will be final in December. Our lives went from being simple to the upsetment of incarceration, theft,and a drug-addicted newborn. It is super-hard to continue to work full-time and raise a toddler. This is how it is and how it is going to stay. Our government has not made it easy to go through this huge transition. We are not rich people and do need help for our grand-daughter. "Pres." Bush has cut spending SO much that it makes it extremely difficult to help this innocent child. Let be pro-active.

My parents were not great about talking to me about things. I'm a new parent, and I agree that keeping things calm, simple,educational, and verbalizing really make a difference in the stress that children have. I do worry about the items on the list, but I can't let fear guide me or my children through life. We just need to keep the red flags up in our childrens minds, and hope that they make the right decisions. I read on one of the posts that there aren't enough role models in childrens lives. The real role models in childrens lives should be their parents, and teachers. Single parent or not it doesn't matter. It's playing an active role in your childs life that makes the difference, and nuturing their minds, and curiosity.

I have a daughter in 7th grade. She has extensive homework every evening. She usually makes the B honor roll. I also encourage her to participate in after school sports. I believe she will find a nice group of friends in this "niche" plus it helps keep her active and physically doing something other than playing video games or watching t.v. She has stresses though, including worrying about waiting at the bus stop for school in the morning and if someone's going to try abduct her, home invasion, etc. We lock our door even in the daytime. During the summer months, she plays outside with the neighbor kids and I see less anxiety in her during this time. It's hard to find a balance of "being a kid" and having them be responsible for their schoolwork, sports, chores, etc.

I had no Idea that a childs biggest fear is losing a parent. Both my parents were killed by a drunk driver when I was four and I have no memory of either one of them and it still kills me to this day! In 1971 it was called "accidental homicide" and the man involved spent one night in a drunk tank and went home to his wife and children while my life was forever changed, and not for the best! Unfortunaltley my Grandparents thouhgt counseling was to shameful at the time and I had so many emotional problems that I didn't understand. Foster care and childrens jail until I emancipated myself at 15. I am 40 now and raising a beautiful 14 year old daughter on my own. I just can't remarry or even date. Her Dad is one of the best men I know, I have so much respect for him because how he treats us both. He put his own feelings aside so that we can concentrate on her. Love and respect is what our kids need and I think communication is the key. Lets all work together and make this world a better place for all of our children!

I grew up watching the Vietnam War on tv and thinking we as a country were always at war. I was "bullied" by some girls in 6th grade which did not end well. In our early history as a nation, child labor was the norm. My point: stress on children has been around far longer than we haved cared about it. Have we survived as a species? Yes. Can life be better? Definitely.

i recently married into 8 more children,with only one of my own it has been a challange,only god can help us all thru these times,in the end it is he who will bring us salvation

I agree with the comments here, the world is getting worse and that's just the bible says. It is not bound to get better, and we see that clearly. We can't put our kids in a bubble as much as we want to protect them, but we can instill good values as early as possible, also to fear and trust in God. So when they're out on their own, they would have that fear to act honestly and to have good judgment even when no one's around. We can't be with them 24/7, but if we have a relationship with God, He can be there for them 24/7

All comments have been very inspiring. The world is not expanding,however, the population is. History has shown us that crowded countries create greater challenges. As humans I hope we can all learn to take deep breaths, acheive greater compassion, and make sure that all children know that they are loved and very important. The future generations will face the greatest challenge of all: cooperation as a global economy. If we show our children that money and power aside it is the cooperation and empathy of humankind that needs to prevail, we will have a chance. Parents that stress winning and over-achievement will ultimately find that children backfire into less productive and angry adults. There is a fine line between vigorous scheduling and learning to achieve personal goals. Just remember our most productive inventors were not great students but had lots of time and energy for critical thinking.

I think one of the biggest problems facing our children is divorces! I am the "furure step-mom" and I see what our children go through. My fiance has custody and the mother gets them everyother weekend. The girls (ages 6 and 15) wonder if mom will come get them or if she will find something "better" to do. Her son (almost 17) doesn't even talk to her. Their mom is a prime examlpe of what is wrong with parenting today. She was too busy with herself that the children were being watched by the computer, TV, and video games. Anytime they went any where it was where she wanted to go. There was no taking, just screaming. I have spent the last 2 years teaching them good study habits and respect while working full time. Their father is there as much as he can be due to work. Thier mother was a stay at home mom. The problem isn't with how much a child has going on it is with the parents involvement and teaching our children. How many families do you know that both parents work and the children go to the sitters?!?

Dear G
The Bible does not say the world is going to get worse. Quit listening to all those stupid preachers. Read ALL of it for yourself.
We all get more information than people did even just 50 years ago. Things are just reported more. My new grandson is going to be just fine, if the adults in his life let him be a child. Children don't need to know all the evil stuff going on and probably adults don't have a need to know, either.

As the mother od a 14 year old daughter, I can say with out a doubt it is more confusing and difficult for all of us. It's a very sad thing to watch your child suffer at the hands of a world that has turned cruelty and violence into entertainment and someones suffering is fun. It makes me sick everyday to watch.

It breaks my heart to see so many kids in day-care for almost 9 hours everyday, almost every single day of their life (many ever since they are 6 weeks old!!). Both parents work full-time making a lot of money and they argue that they do this only for their kids. In most cases they could easily manage with a little less (cut your needs a little).What a kid cherishes more is quality time at home with at least the mom than a big house, big cars, branded clothes, expensive toys etc. They anyway start school at 5 - the years before that they definitely deserve to be at home most of the time (2-3 hours of something like pre-K is definitly good..but 8-9 hours everyday is too much). I believe being in care all day also adds to stress in children.

Did anyone ever think of turning off the TV?

This was great, some things I never even thought of.

Whats wrong with haveing a tv in a childs bedroom?

I disagree with this article. Kids nowadays are far more sheltered than previous generations. The problem is the parents thinking the world is a bad place. not the kid. And if kids aren't let free to experience the world for what it truly is, naturally, there will be some misconceptions.

i AM CONCERNED ABOUT THE KIDS OF TODAY, IT SEEMS THEY HAVE NO MORALS OR VALUES.tHEY THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM , THEY DONT TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR THEMSELVES, wHAT ARE THEY SO STRESSED ABOUT THEY THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM.wE WERE STRESSED TOO BUT, WE DEALT WITH IT!

I am 19 and I feel very blessed and lucky to be one of tne few kids in my generation that have been brought up by good parents even though, sadly, mine are divorced. I am very respectful and plseant to be around so i am told by many adults. One thing that I have noticed about my generation is that divorce rates among adults has gone up. My mom was a stay at home mom I believe that has made all the difference in my up-bringing.

I'm very scared up until last night I thought that evrything was ok not great but ok.I send my son off with my mom for 3 months so he could have a better education. I live in a small island were education in public system is not that great so I send him off everyones in love with him my moms start him on medication for add (attention defecit disorder) and a few days after that my child started to change becoming more aggresive now I don't know if this has something to do with medication or hormones but my mom and her husband send him back in less than 3 months. now his been angry since he came back but druring the day okay normal he would show his anger at times and that concerned me by the way he was taken off the medication since he came back his been back apprx 2 weeks now. Last night he screamed at me with anger continously and I smaked him in the mouth. he pushed and said not to touch him or hell do it again.My husband interveaned what to do any and suggestion appreciated. Thank You.

by the way I forgot to give you my son age 13.

I've been a single mom since my son was a year old. He's 27 now, is married with two daughters of his own and working toward his degree as a pharmacist. He's the most well adjusted young man I've ever known. People always tell me how 'lucky' I am to have such a respectful and well balanced kid. Lucky??! Luck had nothing to do with it. My son never doubted for a moment that he was 'numero uno' in my life. He spent time at day care for as many hours per day as need be so I could work full time to support us. Time away from work, we spent together, as a family, albeit a one parent family. We worked through our stresses together. I was there to talk to him and more importantly, to listen to him when he had something to say. My actions made him believe, under no uncertain terms and no matter what happened, I would be there for him. Not only as his mother, but also as his best friend. Kids don't have the experience to raise themselves. Be a responsible parent. Go home and spend quality time with your children.

Great. Thanks!

please teach your kids,honesty,love,happiness,joy,set goals ,and let them know that they can be whatever they want to be,there is no limit,Teach,them to pray all the time,prayer,will keep them at their best,kids,is very smart,but we as parent have to be alot smarter,Also pay a close attention to the kids they hang out with,and who they bring home.

I believe that the more we focus on whats going wrong, the more we get whats going wrong. Rather than teach children to overcome weakness, we need to teach them to recognize their strengths. By strengths I mean moral strengths:love,compassion,curiosity, emotional intelligence, honesty, gratitude, forgiveness,passion etc. Children have the ability to accept and believe they really can have a happy life much easier than adults. Moral strengths can be learned,nourished and will grow.Strengths shouldn't be confused with talent, or activities they are good at, which are non-moral strengths. Building talents are great,but limited, where building moral strength is limitless and will carry a child much further in their pursuits throughout life. Techniques to build happiness in adults are everywhere and these same techniques are teachable to kids too, but they need to learn this early(ages 8-12)Please visit www.kidscandoanything.com to see a program for kids called "AN EXERCISE IN HAPPINESS" Kids are worthy of Happiness!

I just wanted to send a quick response to Sngl Mom in CO in her previous post. You are soooo right! Luck had nothing to do with it. YOU provided for your child emotional intelligence, and you should be very proud of that accomplishment. So many people are stuck in the "luck of the draw" mindset. Like life is some sort of poker game "these were the cards I was delt" is a "fixed" mindset, according to Carol Dweck of Stanford. You provided for your child a "growth" mindset, which will take them so much farther in life, and ultimately provide for a much happier and healthier life.

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Patrick
www.kidscandoanything.com

i am glad so many parents express there concern on the high demand in school that not only i see stressing my 7th grader on all APclass,athletics,band which i disagree when school start. but she don't have any options because of her class elective.half semester is spend already , activities ,projects,on top of all the homeworks ,honestly i am stress out also because of so many schedule that seems our life was a prisoner .rehearsal ,tryouts,reviews.i decided to cut her music lesson ,on her 8th grade to let her take all regular class. is it advisable? i want her to enjoy the teenage life.not every single time we plan something always to check my calendar.it's crazy.some parents disagree with me and teachers ,they told me that i am suppose to enjoy seeing a high achiever child.our responsibilities should be in gradual direction.not like this? i am concern that she will burn-out and change her desire for education in higher years.