“Spoiled! Not my kid!” Right?

Or would you admit that your child is just a tad bit spoiled? All the polls say that most Americans feel kids today are more spoiled than ever. A TIME/CNN poll found that two out of three parents feel their kids are spoiled.
A poll by the New American Dream showed 70 percent of parents believe kids are too focused on buying things.

I have to say I agree with the polls.

(Parenting expert Michele Borba tells TODAY's Natalie Morales what parents can do to end those temper tantrums. Watch the video.)

Of course we love our kids and want the best for them. We don't want to see them unhappy for a single second. But indulging their every little whim doesn't do our kids any favors. In fact, there are a few dangers to overindulging kids:

They won't win popularity contests. Forget the birthday party invitations. Spoiled kids are not pleasant to be around. Other children don't like them because they're too bossy and selfish. Adults don't like them because they're often rude and demanding.

They have reduced perseverance. Because everything comes a bit easier, a spoiled child has a tougher time handling the downsides of life. They're used to getting their way ASAP so they not only may have reduced perseverance when it comes to schoolwork, but also a tougher time handling adversity.

They have lower self-esteem. New research shows that always getting what you want leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, more psychosomatic complaints, and worse relationships with parents.You're in danger of getting an always-unsatisfied kid who always wants more.

They may lack character. Watch out. Spoiled kids often measure their worth based on what they have instead of who they are.

The truth is there is no gene for spoiled. We have ourselves to blame for this one -- it's clearly a learned behavior. But how do you know if your kid is spoiled? Here is my four-word test...

Let's face it -- there are times when it's just plain easier to tell your kid a little fib.

A little truth bending can ward off that tantrum (“I know you want to watch it, but I just can't find the DVD, dear.”). Most of us are guilty of this. Of course, we do it to protect our kids from worry or distressing facts -- or to protect our family's reputation in the public restaurant (“I'm sorry, honey. The cookies are all gone.”)

While I don't think it's ever right to deceive your child on those bigger life issues, you should feel free to creatively alter the facts every once in a while for those teenier situations. After all, your child may not be developmentally ready to handle the whole truth, and there are a few times when the whole truth will do more harm than good. In fact, I think there are times when not telling the whole truth is not only okay, but even advisable. Here are five ways to tell kids half-truths -- or just plain fudge things a bit for your child's own good:

1. Take the Fifth. You don't have to respond to every question, especially those involving your privacy and past life (i.e., substance abuse, sex life, law infractions). Unless you really feel it would benefit your child to hear it all, you can just take the fifth. “I'm sorry, but that's part of my private life.” Enough.

2. Ask a Question. You can avoid lying by asking a question: “Do you think Santa is real?” Or answer only what your child asks. Then wait and dig a little deeper. “What have you heard?” is always a great way to start a conversation.

3. Withhold Facts. You don't have to give all the facts, but you can still tell the truth. If your ex didn't pick up your child as promised, you don't have to say, “Your father didn't want to see you today.” You can alter the sentiment, and still be honest: “I'm not sure why Daddy isn't here. When we see him, you can ask.”

4. Water Down the Facts. Whether it's a national or world tragedy (i.e., war, tsunami, terrorism) or an event close to home (i.e., a kidnapping, a cancer diagnosis, a car accident), chances are your child will hear about it and needs to get his information from you. Be honest, but just water down the facts to his level in a reassuring way.

5. Plead Ignorance. In some instances, it's just fine to tell your child, “I don't know” -- followed by reassurances. “Will Daddy die?” “I don't know. But we're doing everything we can to help him.” Or: “Will we lose the house?” “I don't know. But whatever happens, we'll be okay because we're together.”

Use these techniques when you have to, but don't make it a habit of lying to your child. A famous experiment conducted at the University of California at Santa Barbara found that when people were asked to recall the worst lie they were ever told, they usually cited an instance when their parent lied to them. They never got over the feeling of being deceived by Mom or Dad, and they've resented it ever since. But when their parent was asked about the lie, they thought that lying to their child was not only the right thing to do, but also an act of love.

Dr. Michele Borba is the author of Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them.

What's this?

There's no doubt about it -- tutoring has turned into a billion-dollar business. Tutor prices can vary from $10 to $250 an hour. It's really little wonder with all the emphasis on test scores and the push to try to get kids into the best colleges. But do you really need to hire someone from that pricey tutoring site or can you just use the kid next door?

Remember the best tutor isn't necessarily the one everyone in town is using -- or the one who charges the most. The key is to “Know thy child” and find the person who matches your child's learning needs.

Here are five tips to help you hire the best tutor for your child.

1. Figure out the need. Why do you think your child needs a tutor? Is he struggling in a subject? Has homework turned into World War III? Is your relationship with him suffering? Does your child have a learning disability? Does he need specific help the teacher can't provide? Is he behind because of illness or a move? Is a major exam coming up -- and that test score is critical? Are grades plummeting? Be very clear about your objective, and then find a tutor who can best match it.

2. Seek out your child's teacher. Your goal is to give your child's learning a boost, so connect with his teacher and get her take. You might ask: Do you think my child needs a tutor? What specific skills or subjects does he need help in? Is there a test schedule so the tutor can review the material? Does he need a tutor with teaching experience? Do you have any tutor recommendations? What tutoring schedule would best fit my child's attention span and learning capabilities?

3. Tailor the tutoring to fit your child's learning style. Here are three more areas to consider when choosing the best tutor for your child:

• Schedule: What would be the best tutoring schedule for your child? Is it once or twice a week; thirty minute, one- or two-hour sessions; individual or group sessions? How long can he attend to his homework without being distracted?

• Personality: What type of personality would your child be receptive to? The tutor should be someone your child feels comfortable with. So match the tutor's personality to your child.

• Learning style: What kind of learner is my kid? Is your child a visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner? (If you don't know, ask the teacher). If your child is struggling, then teaching the concept the same way may not be advisable. Your child may need a more creative tutor who customizes his sessions to your child's learning needs.

There are alternatives to that $250 an hour tutoring center: a retired teacher, a high school student who is a Spanish whiz, the 12-year-old next door your kid adores who helps him with those math flash cards. Ask for recommendations. Interview the people. Then hire the person who would be best for your kid's personality and learning style, and is experienced in the subject matter.

4. Create a tutoring plan. Once you hire the tutor, sit down and create a plan together. Ideally your child should be in on that plan. She needs to be comfortable with this person. A few things to discuss with the tutor include: What specific steps does the tutor plan to take to help your child? How will progress be assessed? How will school assignments and tests be covered in the sessions? What feedback will you get? Be clear from the start about the tutoring schedule and payment plan. Also, find out if the tutor has expectations of you? (Are you supposed to be reviewing lessons as well?) And then check in briefly at least every other week to see how things are going.

5. Prioritize tutoring. Your child needs to know that tutoring is just as important as soccer practice or violin lessons or scouting. In fact, something may have to give so your child isn't overscheduled. If you want the tutoring to help your child's learning, then you must prioritize it. Also arrange the tutoring at a time when he can concentrate on the sessions.

Keep your expectations realistic! No tutor is a miracle worker so it may take time to see progress. And do keep encouraging your child's efforts: “I know this is tough, but here's where you were seven days ago. Look how much you've learned in a week!”

All the best!

Michele Borba

Dr. Michele Borba is the author of Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them.

What's this?

Do you know what skittling is? How about tussing, playing space monkey or the fainting game? Do you know which items in your medicine cabinet can give kids a “high?” If you don’t, you should—chances are your kid does. They’re all risky behaviors teens are doing these days.

While there’s certainly nothing new about teens taking risks, many of these activities can have deadly outcomes and are also starting at younger ages. The best way to help your child be safe is for parents to stay up on what’s going on and know the warning signs.

In the slideshow below, I detailed four risky behaviors today’s kids are doing that all parents should be aware of. Read through it and talk to your child. Hopefully you can prevent a tragedy.

Four Risky Teen Behaviors All Parents Should Know

(Dr. Michele Borba tells TODAY's Amy Robach about these dangerous activities and the signs to look out for. Watch the video.)

People on the street talk about what they think are the riskiest teen behaviors. Watch the video.)