I’m sure you’ve heard the term, “Helicopter parents.” They are those types of parents who are always hovering—always helping—always rescuing—and always involved. In the past these were the parents who micromanaged their kids’ play dates, science fair projects, and soccer game tournaments. At high school they drove the teachers batty by hovering in at the first sign of a bad grade, making sure their kid’s schedule was stellar (with only the very best teachers), and writing those college entrance essays. At college they were first on the scene setting up their kid’s dorm room (and complaining if the roommate wasn’t the perfect fit), and even calling the university president to complain about an unfair grade.

Well, now the kiddies have graduated and they are entering the workforce in mass numbers. It seems these parent are still hovering, but from all indications, their presence is now up a level -- think “Black Hawk” mode. According to major businesses from coast to coast these parents are actually (imagine this!), attending their kids job fairs and interviews, negotiating salaries and benefit packages for their children and even demanding that the business call to let them know if their offspring got the job. And businesses are scratching their heads. What do we do with these parents? Many are (to my chagrin) actually changing their long-standing practices to send notices of hiring intent to the parents as well as the kids.

If you haven’t figured out my take on this by now, let me clarify my position: I think it is over-the-top parenting. This isn’t mentoring but meddlesome, and over the next few days I want to spell out why this is not only wrong, but how it can rob kids of self-reliance -- which is exactly what they need at this point in their grown-up lives.

So what’s your position? Do you see this as helpful or hurtful? And (most important here), do you see yourself as a helicopter parent?

Michele Borba

Michele's latest book is 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids.