Overparenting produces children/young adults who automatically expect to be rescued out of bad situations or from imminent punishment. By constantly standing guard and providing assistance, these young adults do not learn to stand on their own feet, to be held accountable for their actions and to, most importantly, "suffer" the consequences of those actions. How can one be proud of an accomplishment when the parent(s) was there along the way, doing most of the work? Just remember, these same young adults will lead our industries and our country in the future. I prefer leaders with backbones and hard work under their belt; not those who had "inside" connections or past wrongdoings pushed under the rug because of a phone call from mom or dad. Not only will these adults suffer, but who and what will they take down with them?

I have been asked on several occasions how a human resource department ought to react to helicopter parents. My approach is to set boundaries with the candidate. Acknowledge the benefit of collaborative decision making but define the limitations for parental involvement in the workplace. Express clearly that information will be provided to the parent about the job and the company, but the "negotiations" must be with the candidate. Explain that the company expects its employees to be independent thinkers and problem solvers. Then, start the conversation with the parent by setting the parameters for parental involvement now and in the future. Make clear that the call is informational and the candidate must do the negotiations. Be emphatic that, if the candidate becomes an employee of the company, the parent will not be able to be a part of work communications which will be only with the employee. Expect a future call from the parent where you will need to reiterate the limits of involvement in the workplace

I hope that "helicopter parents" realize that they create a false sense of entitlement in their children.

We all have to make mistakes in order to learn and grow from them. If a young adult is protected from the ramifications of their choices, they have learned nothing about "cause and effect", and they have missed out on a wonderful opportunity to grow. What a sad thing to miss out on in life...the ability to live, learn and grow.

What kind of leaders will they be when it is their time to lead?? I guess we will find out. However, I would like to believe that this is not the "norm". I am hopeful that there will be more of those who have indeed been held accountable for their actions. I can guarantee it will be the latter of the two who will lead our country someday. The helicopter kids will be the followers needing constant direction...Unless they choose to change!

Helicopter parents are intervening at a younger and younger age. They're also the one's on the soccer field complaining to the coaches when their kids don't get enough playing time (at age 7), complaining to the teacher's about giving their child a "B" grade that was not warrented. I feel SURROUNDED by these parents. I personally know of ones that after forging "friendships" with people (in expectation that these friends will be useful post-graduation for career opportunites) are now intimately involved in buying their childs' first apartment for them! Where will it stop. And don't these kids at some point get a back bone and tell the parents to STOP interfering !!!! I've always been independent - I hate it when my parents get involved. How can these kids/young adults stand it? Don't they have a backbone?? And it's so unfair to us other parents. It makes me feel competitive because if I don't help my kids a little and "hover" a little then my kids will be at a huge disadvantage compared to these heli-kids!!!!

I told my kids when they turned 18 years old 'Mama can't extricate you from any trouble you may find yourself in anymore-it is up to you to conduct yourself apprpriately'. Like the folks before me, I too feel it is necessary to permit a person to fail so they mature in spirit. I am not saying it has been easy to watch my kids fall, but fall they have and they appear to be much more upstanding citizens because of the skinned knees suffered and disappointments experienced - cause and effect is something they understand and respect.

I admit I am guilty of "hovering" a little too much at times with my 1st child, getting him up for school, making his breakfast, helping with projects. Projects I stopped a year ago unless he is stuck of course, but I still type his reports for him because he doesn't have any typing training yet, but I've already warned him this stops next year. He'll have a keyboarding class at school next year. My son is 14 and I am finally learning that he needs to start doing these things for himself. I'm not doing him any favors just because it's easier for me to "just get it done". It's my own fault. I'm a control freak! But, I'm learning that I have to let go, for his sake. Afterall, he will be entering H.S. in the fall and mom's not going to follow him to college after that to wake him, make breakfast & type his reports for him. I'm slowly phasing in reality for him to make him a better more self-sufficient person. So far, I've already seen a wonderful change in him. (And me!)

I was always afraid as a child and young adult that my parents never gave me enough support. I had to even work 2 jobs while studying at university just to pay my fees and housing costs while other kids were getting everything paid for them and still complaining about not having enough money.

Now I am older I can see that I would much rather have it this way than be one of these (sadly) pathetic kids. I am a confident adult and I am fully in control of everything that I do. I do not blame others for my failings and I know exactly how to get what I want from life.

I'm currently married and 3 months pregnant. I hope to be able to teach my children the same qualities that my parents instilled in me and to be there for them without hovering and doing everything for them. I'm sure it will be difficult to not get too involved when I can see that they are failing but I know it will be for the best in the long run and they will turn out to be healthy and capable adults.

What a joke some parents turn out to be! It's hard enough to grow up without your parents intervening at every possible opportunity. I always felt that my parents maybe did a little to much. But now that I'm an adult, I think they did a pretty good job. I know that kids need some help and direction from time to time even as young adults in their 20's. But, if they never stand up for themself, they will never stand up for anyone else - including their own children. They will still expect someone else to take care of that role. How sad!

I have to agree with digital_serenity...I'm a product of divorced parents and my mom couldn't afford to hand us things on a silver platter. I have been working since I was 15 1/2 and have been self-sufficent ever since I can remember and never asked for a hand out from mom. What a great feeling as an adult to know that everything I have, a wonderful husband, 2 kids, had a great dog, jobs, cars, house, pool, etc. I earned all on my own. It does build confidence & character to make your own way in this world & I want that for my 2 kids. It doesn't do them any favors handing your kids everything. I have so much respect for my mom and how she raised her 3 kids alone. She was a strong, independent woman. She struggled at times, but she set a wonderful example for me to live by. Sadly, mom is gone now, but her examples continue to guide me as a parent. I hope I teach my children to be the self sufficient independent people who can accomplish whatever they want on their own just the way mom taught me to be!

Are you kidding me? I've never even heard of a helicopter parent, although, I definitely know the type. Boggles the mind really, these people need to get their own life and leave their kids alone. That's why our youth is in so much trouble, most of them are not only micromanaged, but spoiled rotten brats. I will not raise my children this way, and I know they will be successful adults.

It seems insane to me that employers would even consider dealing with a parent. If they made it super clear that no applicant with a meddling family member would even be considered for hiring, this might all go away. After all, will the parent be completeing work assignmemnts as well? Critiqueing the employees performance on their projects? As a supervisor, I am not equipt to manage employees and their family members. If employees are so inept that they are allowing their parents to negotiate their salary and bene packages, will they be capable of managing their workload?

hi! i'm a producer at a national morning show. we are doing a segment on this topic this week and would love to speak with you about this topic. please email me asap at morning_show@hotmail.com or call me at 212-301-5256.
Thanks so much and hope to hear from you soon!